Mobile Logo Counseling Palette.png

The Counseling Palette

Mental health activities to help you and your clients thrive, 1. purchase  2. download  3. print or share with clients.

  • Jul 20, 2022
  • 11 min read

31 Fun Couples Therapy Exercises for Bonding and Communication

Updated: Dec 12, 2023

From couples journaling to therapy games to conversation starters, this list will keep couples busy with each other for months to come.

Couples games, in therapy or at home, can help improve communication and your overall relationship. In this image a couple smiles as they play a tabletop relationship game.

Couples therapy exercises , both in counseling sessions and at home, can be a great way to connect. You can work on communication skills, have fun together, and learn more about each other.

The activities can be enjoyable, such as playing therapeutic games , or informative, like talking about shared couple goals. Couples can try these activities on their own, during therapy sessions, or complete the exercises as counseling homework.

Here’s a look at several evidence-based couples therapy activities. They range from the light-hearted and entertaining, to more serious discussion prompts. Article highlights are at the top of the list, in case you’d like to skip ahead.

Article Highlights

Couple’s Pursuit Game Download

Traditional Tabletop Games

Conversation Starters

Workshops Online

Journaling for Couples

Couples Vision Boarding

Art and Crafts for Couples

Therapy Session Activities

This kit includes activities at home for couples as well as therapeutic prompts and exercises.

Couples Games

Let’s start with games! There are a handful of therapeutic games that have been created with couples in mind. Traditional competitive and cooperative games can also help you bond and relax (or get excited if that sounds better).

In fact, researchers have actually found that the love and bonding hormone, oxytocin, increases when couples play games together (Melton, et al., 2019).

What a fun way to “work” on your relationship, right? Here are some ideas to get you or your clients on their way.

A couple's therapy game infographic that includes discussion prompts and playful activities.

Couples Pursuit

Couple’s Pursuit is a fun, printable therapy game with multiple conversation prompts and activities. Think of it as a Trivial Pursuit-inspired game for couples, crossed with Pictionary, Taboo, and 20 questions.

The goal is to beat the game as a couple, completing brief relationship-building tasks and filling up the wedges of your wheels before the “third wheel” sabotages you.

The game is consistent with evidence-based couple’s counseling and coaching. It focuses on connection, showing appreciation of each other, having fun, building a future together, and more. It also includes fun-focused activities that keep the game moving and lighten the mood, like drawing and guessing categories.

Here’s a look at each of the categories included:

Drawing and guessing. This category is based on prompts like, “A favorite gift you’ve given or gotten from me.” You have one minute to draw and see if your partner can guess what it is.

Open discussion topics and conversation starters. Example prompts: “If we could change one part of our lives to make us happier, what would it be?”

Expressing appreciation. Prompts in this category encourage you to say nice things to your partner. For example, it may say, “Tell your partner about something they’ve done for you this week that made you feel better.”

Sharing key memories. The memory category often evokes some of the deepest conversations. Prompts often bring up new topics for couples, such as “Describe a time you lied as a kid and never got caught.” Even if you can’t think of an exact example, it’s sure to bring up some interesting things to talk about!

Giving clues and guessing. This category has you listing ideas before the game, and then seeing if your partner can guess them (similar to Taboo). For example, it might include, “Something my partner wishes I would do more of.” You have to try to get your partner to guess your answer only using clues. This category tends to either be funny, or bring up things you wouldn’t think of sharing otherwise.

Physical affection and intimacy. This category is a little more direct, with prompts like, “Hold your partner’s hand and caress their arm.” You can skip this category if you like, or choose a different affectionate activity. This can be good for couples who have trouble being intimate, or may need a jump start lately.

You can learn more and download the activity here - since you can get it immediately, you could play it tonight if your significant other is game!

Cooperative Tabletop Games

Did you know there are many games where you play against a villain or challenge, instead of your partner? What a metaphor for a relationship! These cooperative activities are about competing together against the game.

Traditional cooperative games aren’t necessarily created to be relationship-building , however many couples find them more fun than competitive games. (Or at least a way to play together without arguing!)

They are consistent with the camaraderie and team-building elements encouraged in couples therapy. Here are some popular options.

Pandemic - Work together to save the world

Unlock - An escape-room type game that you can play with your partner at home

Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective - Solve the mystery as a couple

Competitive Tabletop Games

Some partners enjoy competitive games more than the cooperative options. If it helps you bond and you don’t end up resentful of each other at the end, then go for it! Here are a few games great for two, along with their competitiveness level.

Fluxx - Multiple theme versions (hello sci-fi fans) that are excitable and highly competitive

Carcassonne - A technically competitive but low-key game for a relaxing evening

Ticket to Ride - A middle-of-the-road board game that offers a bit of competitiveness and distraction (although you can help each other if you like)

Couples Journaling

Couples journaling is also becoming a more popular activity. There are variations and you can make the activity your own. You can keep separate journals that you use to help you communicate, or a joint one that can be its own communication tool. Here are some ideas for how to use a shared journal:

Write in the journal together, following a joint prompt. For example, you might answer: “What do we imagine we’ll be like 10 years from now?” You can take turns writing or appoint one of you to be the scribe.

Write in one journal, but separately. For example, you might keep it in one spot and write down thoughts or ideas and then review them later together. Or you can write to different prompts each week (like in the first example) but do it separately and then read them later.

Use a joint journal to communicate difficult thoughts. Do you or your partner have trouble explaining your feelings or responses? You can also use a shared journal to express yourself, and your partner can read it privately. They can respond in the journal, or you can discuss it together later.

Use a joint journal to express gratitude, appreciation, or shared goals with each other. You can do this either at the same time, or separately as in the examples above.

Make up your own journal activities, and create a ritual around it. Perhaps you review the journal every Sunday, or write in it together once per week. The whole idea is to connect, communicate, and understand each other better.

Use an electronic journal if that works better. If you can’t get down with the written journal, there are multiple electronic options available. The simplest is to use a shared Google Doc and start each new entry with a date at the top of the page (to avoid scrolling). You can even download our couples journal as a Google Doc, or a printable PDF if you prefer.

The couples journal helps partners improve their relationship and work through communication problems.

Couples Vision Board

One of the most rewarding and fun activities I’ve done with my partner was a couples vision board . It’s the same as a traditional vision board, but includes either one board you’ve designed together, or a side for each of you. You can also have an overlapping area in the middle with couple goals.

Vision boards are just like those collages you made with magazines as a kid, but a bit more intentional. Here are some suggestions for creating a couples vision board:

Use a bulletin board. These can be easily changed and updated over time, and you don’t need to worry about making mistakes or changing your mind.

Find old magazines, stickers, couples memorabilia (like ticket stubs or photos) and choose intuitively. Especially at first, don’t think too much about it. Make a pile of pictures or cutouts you might use and choose from them later.

Write your own words. Sometimes you can find the exact phrase or word you need from an old magazine page. But if you don’t, no worries. Just write your own words on a scrap of paper and pin them where you like.

Make another electronic vision board. I recommend also making a physical bulletin vision board, but an electronic board is cool too. Consider doing that later and making it a consolidated version of the larger one. I like an app called simply Vision Board, available in app stores.

Have separate and together sections . What a metaphor for life! A healthy relationship includes your time, their time, and together time. Your vision board can show these three areas of your relationship and encourage you to focus on each.

For a little help, try our vision board set, available within the Couples Activity Kit. It includes cute printable robot couples stickers, along with inspirational quotes to include on your vision board. Check it out here.

therapy homework for couples

Conversation Starters for Couples

Discussion prompts are a popular tool among many couples and therapists. It’s a great way to get to know each other early in a relationship. And it’s a great way to keep connected or get to know each other again over the years.

Here’s a look at some popular, as well as lesser-known, conversation tools for you and your partner.

This gay couple is having a shared experience encouraged during couples therapy.

Gottman Card Decks

Have you heard of the Gottman Method? If not, it’s time to check it out! It’s an evidence-based treatment based on years or research on how couples actually interact and live together. They’ve br

anched out to offer more resources, including coaching, for couples, families, and even single

One of their best resources are the Gottman Card Decks. They offer multiple versions including 52 Questions Before Marriage or Moving in , and the Love Map & Open Ended Card Decks . If you’re feeling excited (or not excited enough) you can also try out their sexy Salsa Card Deck .

If you’d like to check out the cards right away, you can also access digital versions online via the Gottman Card Deck app on Apple or Google Play.

Tabletopics for Couples

Tabletopics: Couples is popular and fun set of cards that will certainly get you talking. They’re a fun set of cards that go beyond the typical questions and will have you thinking and laughing. The game has multiple versions including an original and updated decks.

Gottman Workshops

Feeling more ambitious? The Gottman Institute also offers online workshops, both live and recorded, with more detailed activities. They review foundational skills relating to communication, expressing fondness, and changing toxic patterns. You can check out their options here.

Couples Crafts

Remember how games can give you a hit of the bonding hormone? It’s the same for other activities like making art together.

I like to use the word “crafts” sometimes rather than art, because it takes off the pressure. Art seems like something to aspire to, while crafting is about the process. The vision boarding idea above could be considered a type of art, as could cooking or even journaling (especially if you add a visual aspect).

Crafting could literally be making one item together (can you say diorama?) or each completing your separate projects at the same time. Ready for more ideas? Here we go:

Try adult coloring. You can find inspirational coloring sheets online or in bookstores. Or, you can look for nostalgic coloring books like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Strawberry Shortcake. They’re for kids of all ages!

Take an art and wine class. Have you ever been to one of those events where they walk you through how to paint a really serene picture? They’re pretty fun, and you often come out with a finished project you’re pretty proud of. Many art studios offer these for groups or as a date night. Check them out in your area!

Make a joint sand tray. Does your therapist have a sand tray in their office? Or are you a therapist, wondering how to use your sand tray with adults? It can be a therapeutic and fun couples activity. Start with a prompt, like “What is it like when we feel close to each other?” or “How do we each feel when we’re fighting?” Let the miniatures do the talking.

Go on a photo safari. Have you ever taken photos for an artistic or therapeutic purpose? Selfies and family pictures are awesome, but adventure images are for a different purpose. Recreate your first date and take images like you’re making a magazine spread. Each create an image that shows how you feel about the other. Better yet, use a tripod to create your own couples photo shoot, showing your separate and combined personalities.

A lesbian couple in couples counseling pets a dog in a shared couples activity.

Calming Rituals

Rituals, or activities you do regularly or in the same circumstance, are a great way to decrease stress. They can help in the good times and bad. For example, some couples have a nightly ritual in bed where they talk about their day and catch up with each other.

It’s great to watch a movie or have dinner together, but a check-in session allows you to go a little deeper, expressing yourself and showing empathy for your partner. This is a good practice activity for therapy sessions.

Rituals can also be used during difficult moments. If you have frequent arguments, or occasional big ones, rituals can make a big difference. They might involve taking an hour or so apart after a fight to cool down, or watching your favorite sitcom together until you feel clear-headed enough to talk.

Here are some ideas for calming rituals:

Dinner at your favorite restaurant once a month, or when it’s time to celebrate. Celebratable events differ for each couple – maybe it’s for when one of you gets a raise at work, or completes a personal project that’s important to them. Celebrate each other’s successes.

Weekly movie nights. Make watching a movie together an event. Make popcorn or get out healthy snacks. If it’s affordable, head to the theater, or mix it up and go out to the movies one week a month.

Regular family game nights. Game nights can be for the two of you, or for the whole family if you have kids or others in your home. Just make sure you’re also getting one-on-one time if you have a shared household!

Daily, or at least weekly, check-ins. Talk about how you’re feeling, how work or other activities are going, things that you’ve enjoyed lately, etc.

Saying thank-you, sorry, and “I appreciate that.” When people are together for a long time, they sometimes stop treating the other one like a person. When your partner helps with something, even if it’s an everyday chore, that’s something to recognize. Otherwise, people can start to develop resentment or apathy. Being nice will also remind your partner to provide the same for you!

Caring for animals and pets. Caring for pets together can be a great way to bond as well as relax your nervous system. Sometimes therapists even combine pet therapy with family and couple's sessions! You can also look into adopting, fostering animals temporarily, or volunteering at a local shelter. Often they're looking for people to walk dogs and assess their social skills. Sounds like a fun date!

In-Session Couple’s Therapy Activities

Are you a couples therapist or relationship coach? Choosing activities based on your clients’ goals is an important part of your job. That might involve assigning homework or helping couples communicate during sessions.

Many of the activities above will work with some modifications. For example, discussion prompts can be pulled from games or card decks, or can provide you with inspiration. Here are some other activities that may work, depending on your modality and goals:

Practicing soothing rituals in session. You might have your couples practice mindfulness together, or role-play how they might discuss their day and validate one another.

Discuss attachment styles. I’m amazed at how many of my individual clients have been to couples counseling but haven’t heard of attachment styles! If you’re not familiar, I recommend the book “Attached” to get you started. Attachment is a key element in therapies like emotionally focused couples therapy for couples (EFT).

Model empathy and validation. Many people are unaware of when they are being invalidating to their significant other. Listening and practice is the key. You may start by literally role playing, showing what it’s like to validate versus not validate. Once that clicks for partners it can be a game-changer.

Provide (and learn) evidence-based therapies. It may sound like a no-brainer, but if you work with couples it may be a necessity to complete training in the top couples therapies, like The Gottman Method or EFT. At least completing the introductory courses can give you an idea of what couples need the most, since relationships go beyond basic communication.

Try Something New

Is this list enough to get you started? I hope so! Each couple is different, so the best activities for you will depend on your individual personalities, and the areas where you mesh well together. Don’t be afraid to try new things that you wouldn’t normally do. Either you can commiserate on how horrible the experience was, or be surprised and have a new couples activity to add to your arsenal!

Want a fun and meaningful activity you can try or share right away? Check out this couples relationship game and other activities you can download and play today.

therapy homework for couples

Lauer & Lauer, 2002, The Play Solution: How to Put the Fun and Excitement Back Into Your Relationship

Melton, et al., 2019, Examining Couple Recreation and Oxytocin via the Ecology of Family Experiences Framework.

-Links to Amazon products may return a small commission to this website, at no cost to you.

Recent Posts

5 Free Guided Mindfulness Meditations for Stress, Anxiety, and More

7 Super CBT Activity Sheets, Games, and Exercises

11 Fun Family Therapy Activities for Sessions and at Home

' src=

  • Psychology & Counseling Tools

5 Couples Therapy Worksheets & Exercises (+ PDF)

Couples Therapy Worksheets

Couples therapy is an effective way to strengthen the bond between partners, improve communication, and work through issues that may be causing relationship distress.

While traditional talk therapy is an important part of the therapy process, couples therapy worksheets can also be a valuable tool for couples to deepen their understanding of one another and work through specific problems in a more structured way.

How to Use Worksheets in Couples Therapy

Worksheets can be a powerful tool for couples in therapy or intimacy coaching to engage with each other and work through specific issues in a structured and collaborative way. To effectively use worksheets in couples therapy, it’s important to choose the right type of worksheet that aligns with the needs and goals of the couple.

Some worksheets may be geared towards improving communication, while others may be focused on identifying patterns of behavior or exploring individual needs and values.

It’s important to introduce the worksheet in a clear and concise manner, giving the couple adequate time to understand the purpose and process before beginning.

Once the worksheet has been completed, couples can discuss their answers together, and the therapist can facilitate a deeper understanding of the issues at hand, and help the couple create actionable steps for moving forward.

By incorporating couples therapy worksheets into your practice, you can provide your clients with a practical and effective tool to deepen their understanding of each other and enhance the overall effectiveness of therapy.

Example Worksheets for Couples Therapy

Couples therapy worksheets can provide couples with a range of therapeutic approaches to work on specific issues and improve their relationship.

These worksheets can cover a broad range of topics, from improving communication and problem-solving skills to identifying and addressing underlying patterns of behavior. They are designed to facilitate self-reflection, open dialogue, and joint exploration of the challenges couples face.

By using the right therapy tools , couples can identify and work through their individual needs and values, build trust and connection, and establish effective ways of dealing with conflict.

In this blog, we will explore some of the most commonly used couples therapy worksheets, including communication exercises, and emotion regulation activities, to help you provide more effective and targeted support to the couples in your practice.

1. The Positive Aspects of Your Relationships

In couples therapy, it’s important to focus not only on the challenges and issues within a relationship but also on the positive aspects.

Paying attention to the strengths and positive qualities of the relationship can help build resilience, increase satisfaction, and foster a deeper sense of connection between partners.

Here are some ways to cultivate a positive focus in couples therapy [1] :

  • Encourage couples to reflect on and appreciate positive moments in their relationship, both past and present.
  • Encourage them to share positive feedback, express gratitude for each other, and use positive language to frame things in a positive light.
  • Suggest activities that create positive experiences and memories together.
  • Help the couple identify and emphasize their individual and shared strengths to strengthen the relationship.

By focusing on the positive aspects of their relationship, couples can create a more supportive and nurturing environment, which can help them navigate through the challenges and issues that inevitably arise in any relationship.

Shown below is an example of how your clients can reflect on the positive aspects of their relationship using Quenza’s Positive Aspects of Your Relationships worksheet.

preview of Quenza couples therapy exercises worksheets for Positive Relationships

You can access the complete PDF as a customizable Quenza Expansion with your $1 Quenza trial , making it an easy exercise to share with your clients.

2. Gratitude in Romantic Relationships

In couples therapy, fostering gratitude in romantic relationships can be done by [2] :

  • Encouraging partners to express gratitude towards each other regularly, by acknowledging and thanking each other for the things they do.
  • Helping partners to focus on positive aspects of the relationship and to appreciate the good qualities in each other.
  • Practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment, allowing partners to better recognize and appreciate the positive aspects of their relationship.
  • Suggesting exercises that help partners to cultivate gratitude, such as keeping a gratitude journal or creating a daily gratitude ritual together.
  • Highlighting the benefits of gratitude, such as increased feelings of closeness and connection between partners, and improved overall relationship satisfaction.

Below is an example of how Quenza’s Gratitude in Romantic Relationships worksheet can be used by your clients to foster more gratitude in their romantic relationships.

This therapy exercise   involves three steps:

  • First, the clients choose three positive character traits from a given list.
  • Following this, they share their respective lists with each other.
  • Finally, they engage in a joint reflection and discussion to share their feelings and insights gained from the exercise about each other.

screengrab of quenza couples therapy gratitude expansion desktop view

Applying Emotionally Focused Therapy: EFT Exercises To Use

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples involves various exercises that help partners understand and express their emotions and needs, and improve their emotional bond.

Some common exercises used in EFT include [3] :

  • Emotion exploration: Encourage partners to express their emotions and attachment needs, such as feeling safe, secure, and valued.
  • Reflective listening: One partner shares their thoughts and feelings, while the other listens actively and reflects back what they heard.
  • Create connection rituals: Schedule dedicated moments focused on bonding to deepen your connection.
  • Re-enactment: Identify negative patterns and work to change them into positive interactions.
  • Emotion-focused touch: Experience and express emotions through physical touch, such as hugging.
  • Emotion-focused letters: Write letters to express attachment needs and emotional experiences.

3. Knowing Your Emotions

By utilizing Quenza’s Knowing Your Emotions worksheet, clients can proactively delve into their emotions by improving their recognition skills and developing effective strategies for managing them.

For instance, this therapy activity can help clients to identify and overcome emotional obstacles, allowing them to express and understand their emotions with their partner.

preview of client questions in Knowing Your Emotion Quenza Expansion

Recommended:  Training Others in Emotional Intelligence: Your Ultimate Guide

How To Practice CBT in Couples Therapy (+Printable PDF)

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be used in couples therapy to help couples identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that are impacting their relationship.

Some common exercises used in CBT for couples include [4] :

  • Thought challenging: partners challenge negative and irrational thoughts causing relationship distress.
  • Communication skills training: couples learn active listening, assertiveness, and expressing needs and feelings.
  • Problem-solving training: couples learn conflict management and issue resolution techniques.
  • Behavior modification: partners modify negative behaviors and promote intimacy.
  • Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: partners learn stress and emotion management techniques such as deep breathing and muscle relaxation.
  • Exposure therapy: partners gradually overcome fears and avoidant behaviors.
  • Role-playing: couples practice communication and problem-solving skills for positive interactions.

4. Changing Unhelpful Thoughts

Quenza’s Changing Unhelpful Thoughts worksheet, shown below, is a useful tool for clients who are struggling with thoughts that may be negatively impacting their relationships.

This particular CBT worksheet guides clients through a process of exploring how their thoughts make them feel, examining the evidence both for and against those thoughts, and developing alternative, more helpful thoughts.

screenshot of quenza CBT couples therapy expansion in desktop view

Clients can download a PDF copy of their worksheet for their records when you send it through the Quenza client app. If you use cognitive-behavioral therapy interventions frequently in your work, check out our guide on how to provide online CBT .

How to Improve Communication In Relationships

Here are some exercises that couples can do to improve their communication in therapy [5] :

  • Active Listening: One partner speaks while the other fully listens to understand their perspective.
  • Reflective Communication: Each partner shares thoughts and feelings on a topic while the other reflects back without judgment.
  • “I” Statements: Partners express their feelings and needs using “I” statements instead of blaming language.
  • Reframing: Looking at a situation or conflict from a different perspective.
  • Emotional Check-In: Each partner reflects and expresses emotions while the other provides support.
  • Love Maps: Couples create a map of each other’s lives, likes, dislikes, history, and current events to deepen understanding and connection.

5. Apologizing Effectively

Quenza’s Apologizing Effectively worksheet teaches clients a valuable aspect of effective communication: the ability to offer a sincere apology.

By following the guidance in this worksheet, clients can learn how to express remorse in a manner that promotes greater intimacy and mutual understanding in their relationships.

client view of Quenza Apologizing Effectively Expansion for improving relationship communication

Do these exercises inspire you? With the Quenza App, you can customize these Expansions or generate and share your own therapy worksheets with easy drag-and-drop tools.

We have provided several effective ways to incorporate them into programs and treatment plans . In addition, we have included helpful tips and tricks to assist you in automating the process.

Check out our free 30-page guide that provides you with valuable insights into building, customizing, and sharing your own worksheets and tools, as well as creating comprehensive treatment plans and easily tracking and evaluating client progress.

Click here to download your copy of Coach, This Changes Everything.

blue cover image of online coaching and therapy guide pdf

Final Thoughts

By integrating these couples therapy worksheets into your sessions, you can utilize effective tools and exercises that promote positive change and enhance relationships.

These worksheets and exercises can help build your couples therapy toolkit, so feel free to share your experiences with them in the comment section below. Don’t forget to give all these worksheets a try with our $1, 30-day Quenza trial !

Frequently Asked Questions

Couples therapy often involves techniques such as active listening, role-playing, and problem-solving to help couples improve their communication and work through conflicts. Therapists may also use specific approaches, such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), depending on the needs of the couple.

While it’s recommended to seek the help of a trained therapist, couples can also practice DIY couples therapy by setting aside dedicated time to communicate, listening actively, practicing empathy, and avoiding criticism. There are also online resources and apps, such as Quenza, that can provide couples with customized tools and worksheets to facilitate the therapy process.

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as what may work best for one couple may not be as effective for another. However, research has shown that approaches such as EFT and CBT are among the most effective in helping couples improve their relationships and overall satisfaction.

Questions asked in couples therapy may vary depending on the goals of the therapy and the approach used by the therapist. Some common questions may include: – What are your relationship goals? – What are your individual needs and desires? – What are the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship? – How can you communicate more effectively with your partner? – What changes can you make to improve your relationship?

  • ^ Gordon, A. M., Impett, E. A., Oveis, C., & Keltner, D. (2010). Positive communication in couples relationships: The role of gratitude and perceived partner responsiveness. Personal Relationships, 17 (2), 267-284.
  • ^ Algoe, S. B., Fredrickson, B. L., & Gable, S. L. (2013). The social functions of the emotion of gratitude via expression. Emotion, 13 (4), 605–609.
  • ^ Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2006). The Power of Touch: The Effect of Nonsexual Touch on Relational Satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23 (2), 340-354.
  • ^ Johnson, S. M., Makinen, J. A., & Millikin, J. W. (2001). Evidence-based couples therapy: Current status and future directions. Journal of Family Therapy, 23 (3), 283-316.
  • ^ Cordova, J. V., & Doss, B. D. (2014). Improving couples' relationships: Strategies for enhancing effectiveness and meaning. Current Opinion in Psychology, 4 , 76-81.

Beautiful and really insightful article

Thanks, hope it was valuable!

Leave a reply Cancel

Your email address will not be published.

therapy homework for couples

Download free guide (PDF)

Discover how to engage your clients on autopilot while radically scaling your coaching practice.

Coach, This Changes Everything (Free PDF)

Couples therapy: Homework exercises for communication and bonding

A common part of couples therapy for many is partaking in exercises outside of sessions, which are often known as “homework” exercises. Below, we’ve compiled some easy and helpful homework exercises that might aid you in your journey to strengthen your relationship, including gratitude lists, relationship check-ins, journaling, and more. These homework exercises can be tailored to specific romantic relationship goals, so feel free to get creative with how you use them. It can also be a good idea to complete these exercises under the guidance of a licensed mental health professional, which you can do in person or online.

Improve communication and strengthen your bond

Couples therapy is not just for couples experiencing challenges; anyone can benefit from improving relationship skills, bettering communication, and strengthening their bond with their partner. Researchers have looked into the impact of communication on relationships and found evidence that the better a couple communicates with each other, the more long-lasting and fulfilling their relationship is likely to be. 

What to expect in couples therapy

Couples therapy can go beyond the therapist’s office. Professional relationship therapists often recommend homework to their clients, such as the exercises included in this list. Relationship counseling is often the most effective when both members of the couple are willing to put in the work, both inside and outside of the therapist’s office. 

When you first attend couples therapy, the therapist will likely get to know you as a couple and then may want to talk to you individually. After determining your goals as a couple and as individuals, the therapist can support you in reaching those goals with evidence-based therapeutic interventions and relationship-building exercises. 

Depending on the therapist’s approach to counseling, they may use a variety of techniques, such as behavioral experiments, cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, psychotherapy, and homework. 

Best couples therapy homework exercises

Below are a few of the best couples therapy homework exercises recommended by couples therapists. You can use these couples therapy homework exercises at home with your partner, but they may be more impactful when combined with talk therapy from a licensed professional. A therapist can guide you through couples therapy exercises with tips for how to get the most out of the experience. 

Letter writing

If you go to couples counseling, you might practice letter writing as a homework assignment. Writing a letter to your partner can have many benefits, such as making it easier to express things that are hard to say out loud. By writing the letter, you may also discover underlying feelings, beliefs, or thoughts that can shift your perspective on a particular issue or subject. 

A great writing prompt for couples therapy that you can try at home is writing a letter to your partner describing all their best qualities and what you love about them. Then, you can have them write the same letter from their perspective, describing what they love about you and your relationship. This couples therapy exercise can help you better understand your partner’s views and recognize their best qualities. 

Gratitude lists

Making gratitude lists can be an ongoing homework exercise for couples to reflect on the positive things in their relationship and better appreciate each other. A gratitude list normally involves writing everything you are grateful for, or, in this case, what you are grateful for in your relationship. This exercise can be all about recognizing what the other person does that makes you happy and showing appreciation for them. 

For two weeks or more, write down a few things that made you happy or went well that day. When you look back on your list of positive moments, it may reveal patterns in the relationship. Talking with your partner about the list and noticing the patterns together can help you determine what is working in your relationship and how you can create joyful memories together. 

Studies show that displaying gratitude can have powerful benefits for mental health and well-being, such as reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. Giving thanks has been found to make people happier overall, including in their relationships. 

One study on the benefits of gratitude for couples found that mutually expressing gratitude not only tended to make couples feel happier, but also made it easier to express what they wanted to change in their relationships. Positive encouragement from being shown gratitude could also help couples engage in more relationship “maintenance,” such as spending time together, checking in with each other, and being more responsive to each other’s needs. 

Scrapbooking memories

A fun and romantic couples therapy activity to try is making a scrapbook out of your memories together. Instead of a scrapbook, you could create a picture book with handmade drawings, collages, or online cut-outs. This can be an opportunity to assemble a cohesive memory book for you to reflect on your relationship together. 

If you have mementos, like romantic letters from the beginning of the relationship, or sentimental items, such as your first concert tickets together, you can put them in your memory book. You can also print out photos from your favorite memories together. Create the narrative of your love story in your scrapbook, then label the images with context about the memories and how you each feel about them. 

Icebreakers 

When you are first getting started with couples therapy, doing some fun and easy exercises like asking each other “icebreaker” questions may be beneficial. You may be surprised to find that there are things you do not know about your partner, even if you have been in a long-term relationship. These icebreaker questions are generally meant to be light-hearted and get couples comfortable before they delve into more challenging communication exercises. 

  • What is your favorite childhood memory?
  • Is there a funny story from your past you can share with me? 
  • Would you ever want to be famous?
  • What is your favorite love song?
  • Do you know any random or useless facts?
  • What was the first album or CD you purchased?
  • If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  • If you were a candy, what kind would you be?
  • What is your favorite thing to do when you are home alone?

Relationship journaling

Studies have shown that journaling can be a beneficial therapeutic device for tapping into your inner feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. Journaling together as a couple can be a homework exercise that bonds you closer through shared communication. You may choose to journal weekly or daily. 

For journaling to be most effective in a therapy setting, the couple should be honest with themselves and their partners about their feelings. Recording your feelings, thoughts, experiences, and goals in a journal can help you better understand what is going on in your partner’s inner world. Reflecting on journal entries can make patterns in the relationship more transparent, showing you what is working versus what you may need to adjust. 

The journal can be used to reflect on positive memories together and as a safe way to express frustrations about the relationship or things that you wish were different. The journal entries can also be reviewed with your therapist during couples therapy sessions later on, helping you create a plan for how to best support each other in reaching your relationship goals. 

Relationship check-in

Around once a week, try to set aside 30 minutes to an hour to discuss your relationship and check in with each other about your feelings. You may also want to record your check-ins in your relationship journal or with couples therapy worksheets so you can reflect on them later. There are couples therapy toolkits that you can download for free online, or your therapist may provide resources. 

Checking in with each other can be an important step in maintaining healthy relationships, ensuring that you are both on the same page communication-wise and not letting anything slip through the cracks.

Benefits of online therapy

These homework exercises for building bonds and improving communication may be the most impactful when combined with guidance from a licensed therapist. You can find highly qualified couples therapists online with therapy platforms like BetterHelp. Couples with busy schedules or travel limitations may have an easier time accessing online couples therapy than traditional therapy at an office. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

One 2022 study examined the effectiveness of online and in-person couples therapy and found that internet-based therapeutic interventions could be just as effective as traditional sessions. However, online sessions typically offered the benefit of being more accessible and appealing to couples who may not otherwise attend. The data collected by the researchers in this study showed overwhelmingly positive results for the majority of participants. 

Choosing the appropriate response: Navigating sympathy vs. empathy in human interactions

De-escalation techniques to defuse conflicts in relationships, build healthy relationship habits with a professional, top categories.

  • Relationships and Relations

Boston Couples Therapy

  • Adam Goodman

5 Thoughtful Homework Assignments for Couples in Therapy

Write a letter.

The first homework exercise to try is to write a letter about your partner’s best qualities. Write what you love most about them and why they are so special to you. After writing the letter, write the response from their perspective on their best qualities that they notice in themselves and how being with you makes them feel. This exercise will help you to see the best qualities in your partner and allow you to understand more about what they love about themselves.

Identify Things They Do That Makes You Happy

Another exercise is to think of one thing that your partner has done or said recently that made you really happy. Ask yourself if there are patterns in those moments: when do these things tend to happen? What activities seem to lead up to this positive interaction?” Ask your partner if they have noticed the same patterns or if they see things differently. This is also a wonderful way to create more empathy and understanding for one another.

Every day, for at least two weeks (depending on how quickly you catch on), take five minutes and write down three things that went well today or what made your partner happy. This can be as simple as going out for ice cream with friends when it’s not their turn for childcare. The idea is that there should always be more positive than negative in the world; so by taking even just a few moments every day to check in, you can make sure that your partner knows what made them happy and reinforce those positive interactions.

Reflecting on your current or recent feelings is a great way to get more in touch with what you’re feeling and it can help your partner do the same. With your partner, start by trying to reflect on how you are feeling right now, and what things in the current moment bring up those feelings. This is a good time to ask your partner if they are feeling anything similar.

While giving gratitude may sound cliche, it does actually matter; there are studies showing that people who do this have lower levels of depression and anxiety than those who don’t. Being mindful about what is good in our lives leads to us appreciating other aspects as well – even if we might not be feeling so great overall right now.

Create a Memory Book

One fun homework assignment for couples in therapy is to create a book of memories that span over your time together. This means going back through photographs, letters, notes, etc. Anything meaningful! There are no rules other than both partners taking part- provide some context by writing about what happened at the moment these things occurred when possible (this may take more effort from one person).

Use "I Feel" Statements

A fourth homework exercise is to try and have a conversation about your feelings, in which you start with the sentence “I feel…”

For example:

“I feel really sad. I think that’s because my mom ____.”

This specific homework assignment may be too difficult for some couples as it deals with strong emotions, but if this one fits you well then it can be very helpful. It also helps the person who feels more hurt or vulnerable to know their partner cares enough to listen. And, even when they don’t understand what has caused the pain, just saying “I’m here,” validates those raw feelings of anger or sadness.

You could also practice “alternative empathy.” Alternative empathy is a type of empathy that is not just feeling for someone else. It’s more about understanding and being able to see through their perspective with nonjudgmental kindness. This means you help them feel better by trying to understand what has gone on in their life, where they are coming from, and then offering your support.

The hardest part of practicing alternative empathy is the fact that we don’t always know what our partners are going through. We can only imagine, and sometimes it’s hard to do this because if you’re not careful, you might assume things about them based on your own life experience which could be limiting.

The best way I have found to practice empathy is by not expecting anything in return; just being there with a person who may or may not even want your help at the time will benefit them later. This means offering without expectation but understanding where they come from while also honoring their boundaries. It helps us see ourselves as someone else would and how our intentions might make others feel.

Consider Your Senses Together

A final homework assignment for couples in therapy to try is to spend time each day considering the five senses. It’s so easy in our busy lives to just go through life on autopilot and not really be present for anything we’re doing, but this exercise will help you experience the world around you as if it were new again while also creating a space where your partner can share their thoughts without any pressure or expectations.

If you like working on your relationship outside of the therapy office or tele-meeting, try one of these exercises. Let me know how it goes. If you are considering starting couples therapy, get in touch with me today !

Taking time to Journal

1 thought on “5 Thoughtful Homework Assignments for Couples in Therapy”

Pingback:  What Happens In Couples Counseling? (13 Common Things)

' src=

It is perfect time to make a few plans for the long run and it is time to be happy. I have learn this publish and if I may just I desire to recommend you some attention-grabbing issues or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

Comment awaiting moderation.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

CleverMemo – The best Coaching Software for sustainable results and a thriving business Logo

26 Must-Try Couples Therapy Exercises And Activities

couples-therapy-exercise-activites

Discover the best couples therapy exercises and activities in this article. It is written for therapists and counselors but will also benefit couples who want to improve their relationship with some tools they can even use at home.

The powerful exercises will help to improve communication and listening skills while also helping to develop and (re)build trust.

The exercises include the know-how from different treatment approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy ( CBT ), Positive Psychology, and Mindfulness-based interventions. All these different approaches work wonderfully together and complement each other.

We included exercises for trust-building, deepening the connection, resolving roadblocks, promoting awareness, and improving communication. Some of them can be used during therapy sessions while others work great as homework in couples therapy.

26 Couples Therapy Exercises and Activities

1.) the icebreaker.

Icebreakers can be a great opportunity to te an interesting conversation going and to learn something new about each other. It’s a great exercise for the early stage of any couples therapy or relationship coaching.

Some icebreaker questions are:

  • What is a funny story you’ve never told me about?
  • What is a childhood or your anecdote you could tell me?
  • What did you want to become when you were a child?
  • What is an embarrassing moment of your life you’d like to share with me?

Powerful Couples Therapy Exercises For Trust

2.) let’s be honest.

The rules of this exercise are easy. Both partners should answer each other’s questions honestly. This will enhance the connection between each other. You can vary between general and easy to answer questions and end up with philosophical and thought-provoking questions:

  • What is your favorite memory of dating me?
  • What is your favorite thing that I do for you?
  • What’s something you’re glad you’ll never have to do again?
  • Which memory comes up when you think about your childhood?
  • If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first?
  • What is one behavior that you never tolerate?
  • If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • What about me made you fall in love?

3.) Try the Trust Fall

The trust fall is an exercise in which one person stands straight, closes their eyes, and lets him- or herself fall without trying to stop it, relying on the partner to catch them. As the name says it’s a trust-building exercise that needs some courage at first.

4.) Share your favorite songs

Each partner is asked to share three of their favorite songs. They should also try to explain the meaning of the songs. Listen to the songs together.

  • What does it remind you about?
  • Which feelings come up while listening?
  • In which mood are you usually listening to it?

Music is very personal and this exercise is a great way to open up and connect with the partner and also express some vulnerability with each other. Maybe the couple even has „their“ song. In this case, both can describe the feelings and emotions that come up while listening.

5.)  What do you know about me?

Make a small challenge and find out what the couple knows about each other. After answering one question it’s the other partner’s turn. Some example questions:

  • What is the one thing that makes me feel alive?
  • What makes me smile?
  • What scares me?
  • How would my dream holiday look like?

couples-therapy-exercises-worksheets-pdf-relationship-coaching-small

Click the image to read more

6.)  The favorite book exercise

Ask the couple to swap their favorite books. They should tell each other what they like about this book in particular. How did it influence their life?

Reading the partner’s favorite book can be an opportunity to get a look into the partner’s mind and understand each other better. Discussing the book and the impact it has on one is a great way to deepen the connection of the couple. This is a great homework exercise. Discuss the results together in the next session.

Best Homework For Couples Therapy

7.)  the relationship assessment.

The Relationship Assessment is a couples therapy exercise for the early stage. Each partner is asked to answer some basic questions about the relationship. It’s a questionnaire that helps explore the challenges and problems.

It gives you some fundamental background information about the couple. You’ll find out how long the clients know each other, get information about previous relationships or marriages. You’ll also get information about children, the family background, and also stress-factors that may have caused the relationship problem.

This questionnaire should be part of the inventory of any couples therapist or consultant. You can create your own or get the one that’s included here in the couples therapy toolkit.

8.)  Identify Relationship Problems

This is another great exercise for the early stage of any relationship coaching or couples therapy. The exercise allows you to identify specific areas to work on with the couple. It’s a set of questions that each partner should answer individually.

You will find out that each partner might identify different problems in their relationship. It’s a homework assignment before or after the first session.

Note the major problems each partner identifies in this questionnaire and specify with them what needs changing.

Possible areas of relationship problems are: Financial, Child-rearing, Communication, Decision-making, Jobs, Controlling each other…

The full exercise is included here

9.) Identify Relationship Goals

Couples therapy is not only about problems, but also about goals. It’s important to find common goals within a relationship. Something both partners are ready to work for. Keep in mind that a goal should always be SMART.

SMART goal means:

  • Specific (Is your goal too generic? Specify it!
  • Measurable (How can we measure the outcome?)
  • Attainable (Is our goal attainable?)
  • Realistic (Is our goal realistic?)
  • Time-Bound (We want to achieve our goal until…)

The goals or priorities can be different for everyone. Help your clients create and shape a vision for their ideal relationship. The Toolkit includes a ready-to-use worksheet for your sessions. Ask clients to create their goals separately and then try to find a common goal together in one of the first sessions.

10.) The Problem-Solving Blueprint

After the relationship problems have been identified it’s time to solve them one by one. The first step is to connect the individual problem with real-life situations. This will increase the understanding of the origin and the problem itself. Once this is done it’s time to attack the problem and find strategic ways to solve it.

This exercise prompts the couple to come up with creative solutions. The problem-solving blueprint is best used after the exercise where your clients identified the biggest problems that need solving.

It’s also a great tool that comes in handy whenever new problems come up during the coaching/therapy. Assign the tool to each client individually and discuss their answers together.

Each partner defines the problem, describes it in a real-life situation, and is prompted to come up with a creative solution to that problem. The results can be discussed together with the partner and the therapist. The full exercise is included here .

11.) The Pre-Session Check-In – Prepare for each Couples Therapy Session

This is a vital exercise for any marriage or couples therapy. Each partner should sit down individually the day before a session. They should write down what went well since the last session, which change they saw, and what they want to talk about in the next session. It’s a quick progress report that allows each therapist to make their session preparation a matter of a few minutes.

The clients get prompted to focus on the upcoming session to get the most out of it. CleverMemo allows you to assign these kinds of exercises and questionnaires with two single clicks s an action item. You pick a due date, an optional reminder and clients can fill everything out in the stream they share with their therapist.

12.) Therapy Session Gold Nuggets Exercise

This is the perfect addition to the pre-session check-in exercise. Prompt your clients to write down their key insights of each session and share them with you. This should be done individually.

The notes are super helpful as clients reflect on their session while memory is still fresh. They become aware of what they’ve learned, and you get invaluable insights and feedback about what was most valuable to them. Assign this exercise as an action item within CleverMemo. This allows clients to share their answers right in their private stream. Over time you both have a running record about the entire couple therapy with each partner.

  • Possible questions are:
  • What did you learn in this session?
  • The most valuable insight was…
  • What do you want to accomplish until our next session?

The complete exercise is part of the C ouples Therapy Toolkit

13.) The Relationship Journal

Keeping a regular relationship journal (daily/weekly) is the perfect exercise to get to know the different perspectives of each partner.

It takes two for a successful relationship. If both parties start journaling about their thoughts, feelings, experiences, mistakes, successes, and wishes, a lot of invaluable insights will be uncovered.

It’s also a great way to call out and keep track of things and habits they don’t like about each other.

The therapist could discuss the journal entries individually with each partner and afterward try to solve and work on them together.

The CleverMemo automation allows you to assign the journal entry as a homework item. Just define how often (e.g. weekly) an entry should be done and the system will send reminders and nudge your clients not to forget their daily or weekly entry.

Rereading past entries is a great way to reflect and uncover recurring patterns, habits, and thoughts. Two journaling templates are included here .

14.) Don’t Overlook Your Qualities And Strengths! – Couples Therapy Exercise

Too often we focus on the bad things and what doesn’t work. This exercise prompts each partner to take a closer look at the strengths. Both their own and their strengths as a couple – as a team Awareness and understanding one’s strengths can be a huge confidence booster.

The couple should make this exercise individually. Sometimes we are sure that we possess certain strengths but our partner may not notice them or take them for granted. It’s also possible that something we consider our strong side (e.g. “I’m a very organized person”) is seen completely different by our partner without us even knowing it (e.g. He/She is a control freak“).

Two great questions to start are:

  • Which three big strengths do I think my partner would say I possess?
  • What are the strengths we should develop together as a couple?
  • The complete exercise is part of the Couples Therapy Toolkit.

therapy-homework-for-couples

15.) The CleverMemo PIT-STOP (R) – Quickly de-escalate any argument with your partner

Even the best couples fight sometimes — that’s just what happens when two people who care about each other spend a lot of time together. But unfortunately, in some cases, arguments can escalate quickly, turning a little disagreement into a big issue.

The CleverMemo PIT-Stop exercise will help your clients to de-escalate any argument or upcoming fight. It’s a simple technique that helps them to step back and become aware of the situation and their feelings. Once the emotions cooled down it’s time to address the topic calmly.

Each time an argument comes up the couple should say some keyword like Pause, Stop, or PIT-Stop and then leave the situation. Each partner takes a seat and writes down their thoughts and feelings. You’ll find the entire exercise including all the questions for clients here .

Effective Couples Therapy Exercises For Communication

Communication and the ability to listen to each other are vital skills for any relationship to be successful. There are several exercises to assess communication issues:

16.) Let’s Improve our Communication

Good communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs, we all have bad days, but a healthy way of communicating with our partner makes it easier to deal with conflicts and building a stronger relationship.

We cannot read our partner’s mind. That’s why is crucial to tell our significant other how we are feeling, what we want and need and what we are feeling.

Every person has different communication ways and needs of communication. That’s why it’s so important that the couple becomes aware of their current communication patterns. How would they rate their current communication? Are they able to talk about everything with their partner?

This is the first step to improve communication. The whole worksheet is part of the Couples Therapy Toolkit.

17.) The Miracle Question

The miracle question is a great thought experiment in coaching and counseling. The question has its origin in the solution-focused therapy and its name is credited to Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg. The focus is on the future, on the goal the client wants to achieve.

This question helps our couple to become aware of their own dreams and desires and learn about their partner’s dreams and desires. It can be very helpful in understanding what both they and their significant other needs to be happy with the relationship.

Ask them to answer the following miracle question:

Imagine while sleeping tonight a miracle occurred: All your current problems disappeared. What would you notice that would tell you life suddenly gotten better? How would life look like?

Tip: Couples Therapy Questions

The miracle question is just one example that shows how great the impact of the right questions can be in couples therapy. Questions can be a great resource for any couples therapist, and relationship counselor, or coach. We created a collection that will help to identify problematic areas within the relationship.

But even when you’re not a therapist, you can use some of them as an icebreaker exercise to get communication with your spouse going. Check out the list of couples therapy questions for your next session here.

18.) Listening Without Interruption

This famous couples therapy exercise focuses on both verbal and nonverbal communication.

Set a timer for 3 minutes. One partner has the chance to speak about whatever they are thinking or feeling without being interrupted. The other partner is not allowed to say anything but could use nonverbal methods to show empathy and understanding.

After three minutes both can discuss their experience, feelings, and observations. Then it’s time to switch roles so that each partner can improve their listening skills.

19.) Repeat it – Exercise

This is a variation of the „Listening without interruption“ exercise.

One is asked to tell a short story (3-5 minutes) while the partner is just listening. Once the story is over the partner is asked to reflect on what they just heard. It’s great training to enhance listening skills.

Some additional Homework Exercises For Couples Therapy

20.) send me a letter.

Both partners are asked to write a letter to each other. In this letter, they can express their frustration, feelings, or desires. For many people, it’s easier to express their emotions and feelings in written form instead of telling it to another person’s face. Each partner is then asked to write a response to their partner’s letter.

Ask your clients to share their letters with you in their CleverMemo stream. You’ll gain invaluable insights that will be useful for the upcoming therapy sessions. Discuss the letters together with them.

21.) Becoming the Best Partner I can be

This exercise will help each partner to find out what they can do to improve their relationship skills and do their part in becoming the best partner they can be.

First, we must recognize our responsibility and not get caught up blaming it all on our partner, even when it appears our partner is the one with the problem.

Let’s take a look at ourselves and what we can do to become the best partner we can be. You’ll find the exercise here.

22.) Get Your Needs Met In Your Relationship

A happy relationship thrives on our understanding of our partner’s needs. Recognizing and communicating our own needs is also very important. If both partners don’t care about or ignore each other’s needs, the relationship will fail sooner or later.

The relationship will only have a future if the mutual and individual needs of both partners are met. Common needs in a relationship are the feeling of security, appreciation, shared experiences of love, tenderness, and affection.

Each partner should ask themselves „What do I need?“ and „What does my partner need?“ and both partners should make it a habit to clearly communicate their needs. It needs some training in the beginning but it can become a routine after some time. The worksheet is part of the Couples Therapy Toolkit.

23.) Explore New Things Together

Prompt the couple to find something new they could learn or try together. This could be a skill, a hobby, or an adventure. It’s ideal if both have never done it before so that they share the experience of trying it the first time together. This could be some sport or going to dance class for example.

24.) Let’s Review Our Life Together

This is a great homework exercise for couples. Prompt them to have a glass of wine or cup of tea and review their life together. They could take a look at their first pictures as a couple and discuss all the things they’ve experienced together throughout their relationship. They can also think of things they still would like to do together. You can discuss the results in the next session.

25.)  The Gratitude List

A great couples therapy exercise is the Gratitude List or even a journal. It helps each partner to restructure how they think about their partner and to become aware of all the small positive details that made them once fall in love with each other.

Ask each partner to write down at least five things they appreciate/are grateful for about their partner. This could be followed by three things they could do to make their partner feel more loved and appreciated in the relationship. If the couple is ready for it you could take this exercise a step further and let them keep a daily gratitude journal over 2-4 weeks.

This will help them to focus on the good in their relationship and become aware of the daily little positive things they notice about their partner. A template for this journal is included here.

26.)  The Weekly Relationship Check-In

This couples therapy exercise is valuable for every relationship. It improves the communication between the partners and allows each of them to have their speak. Ask the couple to schedule 30-60 minutes per week where they talk about their latest experiences, their wishes, what they want and need from each other, and how they could improve their relationship.

There are not a lot of rules. But the listening partner agrees not to interrupt and take things personally. Both should take this time as a chance to talk honestly to each other without the fear of being judged or that the partner might overreact.

Ask your clients to share the experiences and key insights of this exercise in their CleverMemo stream with you.

Wrapping Up Couples Therapy Exercises And Activities

These were 25 must-try couples therapy and counseling exercises you can use with your clients. Practicing communication, trust, and increasing empathy and awareness for each other are undoubtedly helpful for any relationship or marriage.

If you’re looking to support your couples therapy sessions with a professional software tool you can start a free CleverMemo trial here. And if you want to improve your couples therapy with some ready-to-use worksheets and questionnaires this Toolkit is for you: Check it out

Click the image to find out more

Teilen Sie diesen Beitrag mit Ihrem Netzwerk...

About the author: marcel schuy.

therapy homework for couples

Related Posts

Will Artificial Intelligence (AI) replace Coaches And Therapists?

Will Artificial Intelligence (AI) replace Coaches And Therapists?

57 Great Couple Therapy Questions For Your Next Session

57 Great Couple Therapy Questions For Your Next Session

Why Active Listening Is Important And 7 Skills to Practice It

Why Active Listening Is Important And 7 Skills to Practice It

12 Coaching Skills That Make You A Good Coach

12 Coaching Skills That Make You A Good Coach

Coach, where were you at the final? Successful Coaching is more than sessions

Coach, where were you at the final? Successful Coaching is more than sessions

therapy homework for couples

  • Parenting & Family Parenting Family Pregnancy
  • Courses Marriage Save My Marriage Pre Marriage
  • Quizzes Relationship Quizzes Love Quizzes Couples Quiz
  • Find a Therapist

25 Couples Therapy Exercises You Can Do at Home to Improve Your Relationship

Angela Welch is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor Intern from Valparaiso,IN. She earned her Master of Arts in Marriage and... Read More

Kaida Hollister

Passionate relationship writer, Kaida Hollister, renowned for insightful and engaging writing on love, human connection, psychology, and personal growth.

Do it yourself Couple therapy that you can do at home

In This Article

Marriage isn’t always easy and it can be helpful to have some professional guidance and advice along the way.

But, not all couples are excited at the thought of airing their marriage difficulties to a stranger in therapy .

Thankfully there are many couples therapy exercises you can do at home to strengthen your relationship and build trust and communication .

These couples therapy techniques can help you communicate on a deeper level, teach you to fight fair , and create goals for your future together.

There are many benefits to practicing these couples therapy exercises both before and after marriage.

Strengthen your relationship and your love for one another by adding these 25 trust and communication-building exercises into your weekly routine. These exercises can work well instead of pre-marriage counseling, or alongside it. 

1. Do a trust fall

A trust fall is a trust-building exercise that may seem small but fosters large results. We may have done it as a fun activity with friends but it can be a part of couples’ therapy at home.

To do a trust fall, one partner stands behind their blindfolded spouse. The blindfolded spouse will then deliberately fall backward and their partner will catch them.

It sounds like an easy game, but it requires trust and blind faith in the blindfolded spouse that their partner will catch them. This may cause the blindfolded partner to turn around, fearing that their partner will miss.

This exercise builds teamwork , trust, and fosters a feeling of safety and security in the relationship.

Note: When doing any kind of exercise like this, always practice safety by choosing a physically safe place to conduct this exercise.

2. Never go to bed angry

One of the couples therapy exercises that will soon become a “Code to live by” is that of never going to bed angry.

Beijing Normal University researchers Wanjun Lin and Yunzhe Liu performed a sleep study on 73 male students to see how negative emotions and memories would affect their sleep patterns.

The results showed the students were less capable of restful sleep and had a heightened feeling of distress after being shown negative imagery right before bed.

If these students were to be shown negative imagery hours before going to sleep, the brain would be able to subdue the distress response.

However, going to bed immediately after arguing or experiencing trauma causes the brain to protect that emotion, keeping it fresh and clear in the mind.

These findings suggest that the age-old adage of “Don’t go to bed angry” definitely has some merit to it. Negative emotions directly impact the ability to sleep. If you and your spouse are in distress, you should make nice before heading to bed.

Consider this and other activities that reduce conflict as couples communication exercises that will only make your terms of endearment better than before.

Even though it may be difficult to resolve all issues before bed, agree to table the disagreement, and both practice small gratitude exercises before bed.

This will allow you to focus on the positive aspects of each other leaving a positive image in the mind before bed leading to a better night’s sleep.

Review the concerns in the morning with a well-rested mindset. Your feelings may have changed and if you were unable to fix the issue before bed, it may be easier at this point.

3. Write an appreciation list

Some of the best couples therapy exercises have to do with restructuring how you think and feel about your partner. A great way to do this is with an appreciation list.

Partners will write down five things their partner does that they appreciate, followed by five things their partner could be doing to make them feel more loved , secure, or appreciated in the relationship.

By writing down and meditating on their spouse’s good qualities first, partners will be able to focus on the good in the relationship before looking at ways to improve love and communication in a constructive way, rather than accusatory.

You can also maintain couples therapy worksheets or marriage counseling worksheets with a more detailed analysis that can be used for self-assessment.

4. Unplug from technology

One of the best couples therapy exercises you can do is to u nplug from technology and have a talking session.

Smartphones and devices are a great way to connect to the world, but they have a surprisingly bad effect on your relationships. After all, how can you give your spouse your undivided attention when you are checking your phone every ten minutes?

For this exercise, eliminate distractions such as television, video games, and smartphones for 10 minutes a day. Use these 10 minutes to talk to one another. Go back and forth telling each other the things you love and appreciate about them.

Do not interrupt one another. This feel-good exercise creates positive thinking and boosts self-esteem. Abstaining from technology and focusing on your partner is actually advocated by many marriage counselors among the relationship-building activities for couples.

You can go for a shared meditation experience as well!

Watch this video of breathwork by therapist Eileen Fein : 

5. Team building exercises

Since you are working on bettering your relationship , it’s time for the team-building exercise . This fun step involves the two of you trying something new that requires you to rely on one another. You can make these couples therapy activities as fun or as challenging as you like.

Some ideas for team building exercises include l earning an instrument together, hiking, learning a new language, making online videos together, and zip-lining, kayaking, or going to the gym.

Both of you can make a list of some activities that you would both enjoy trying together.

6. Honesty hour or “Marriage check-in”

If you are trying to find the best couples therapy exercises for communication then go for a marriage check-in.

This is a “couple exercise” that should be done once a week, face to face.

Couples will have an hour of honesty where they speak frankly, but kindly, about the state of their marriage.

Partners will then be allowed to talk about improvements they would like to see in the marriage or speak of things that are bothering them. The listening partner agrees not to get overly offended or overreact.

This arrangement allows both partners the opportunity to listen and to be heard . The calm atmosphere of this marriage check-in should encourage partners to speak freely to one another with a view to solving a problem, not attacking one another. 

Experts vouch for this as one of the best trust-building exercises for couples as many emotional walls can be broken with this technique.

7. Consistent date night

D ate night is also a great opportunity to reconnect emotionally and sexually in a fresh environment. Consider it as one of the fun and romantic couple counseling exercises.

The closer a couple is, the better their communication and the physical relationship will be. Whatever you do on date night, make sure you are focusing on each other and having a great time with such “couple communication exercises”.

8. Eliminate stress triggers

Stress is harmful to a marriage. Not only does it cause couples to associate negative feelings with one another, but prolonged marital stress can also lead to clinical depression and other psychiatric disorders.

Identify stress triggers in your marriage . Examples of stress triggers might be bringing up past conflicts such as infidelity , health concerns, and financial instability.

Instead of bringing up stress triggers to argue, identify them to solve the problem so that resentment does not linger from these topics in the future.

9. Create a bucket list

Happy couples are kinder to one another. One study revealed that happy people are more likely to be kind to others, have higher motivational drives, and a sense of gratitude. Couples who try new things together build trust and cooperation skills and boost happiness levels.

One of the best relationship-building activities is by trying new experiences together. Create a bucket list of things you want to do together.

Include smaller and larger goals, so you have something to look forward to in the short and long term. This could be as simple as visiting a museum or a closeby town, or it could be as complex as going on a dream vacation. No matter what activity you choose, what matters is that the activity is something:

  • You can do together
  • Can be done regularly
  • Feels enjoyable for both 
  • Promotes healthy communication

Make an effort to do at least one of the activities each month. No matter how busy your life gets, this gives you a sure way you will have something inspiring to do to reconnect. 

10. Leave it until Sunday

Picking your battles is as important as how you handle them. It is not just what you say, but when and how.

Postponing something for a few days gives you perspective and allows you to evaluate if you truly want to have that argument. Additionally, it helps you come into the conversation calmly and with arguments. 

You can use this exercise any time you dispute and can’t seem to come to terms with it. If there is a major dispute that cannot be postponed, by all means, address it. This exercise is not meant to help you put problems under the rug.

However, anything that gets forgotten by Sunday probably was not high on the priority list. What makes this one of the best communication exercises for couples is the benefit of learning how to prioritize your arguments as time progresses.

11. Icebreakers

Some of you may cringe at the idea of the icebreaker since you might have been forced into doing them at work or back in school. However, this time around it will be with someone you love and cherish. If you attend marital counseling it will probably be one of the exercises you do in the beginning as it puts you more at ease. 

The great thing about this is that you will learn new things about your partner. You may think you know all there is to know, but you are mistaken. Trying to ask them some fun icebreaker questions:

  • Tell me something weird about yourself
  • Tell me your favorite cereal brand 
  • Tell me a childhood anecdote
  • Tell me something embarrassing from high school

Add more questions and you’ll be surprised by what you learn. These are bound to produce at least one or two new facts about your partner that you didn’t know before.

12. Music sharing

Music can be deeply personal and meaningful. Set aside some time and share the music you like without any judgment. You can each pick three songs that have high significance for you and explain why. 

Furthermore, you can choose songs that remind you of each other. There are many topics that you can do this selection on such as – highschool, heartbreak, our relationship, etc. After each selection use questions to understand why those songs are in that category and what feelings they evoke. 

Any marriage therapist would tell you that this can lead to meaningful insights about your partner and the relationship itself. T his kind of sharing leads to deeper levels of understanding. Be gentle as they might be vulnerable and risking a lot by showing you something so personal. 

13. Swap books

One of the best couple counseling exercises is swapping books.

What is your favorite book? How about your partner’s? If you have not read them so far, go out and buy them for each other. Write a thoughtful note so you each have a beautiful memory to keep. 

Same as with music, what you chose to read says a lot about you. Couple counseling experts recommend this exercise and even suggest that it can become a new tradition for the couple. 

No matter how well you know your partner you will learn something new about them since books over inspire the creative side in us. They will learn something new about themselves, acquire new perspectives, and share a window into their mind. Diving into something as profound as a favorite childhood book is a fantastic way to forge a deeper connection. 

14. Soul gazing

It may sound like nothing, but this is an intense exercise that can have a huge impact on feelings of connectedness and intimacy. 

It could be that due to mirror neurons in our brains this exercise has so much effect. 

Those mirror neurons are a part of the reason we are fast-tracked for affection, sociability, and companionship. They get activated by looking into someone. 

Instructions are simple, face each other, and set the timer for 3-5 minutes. Stand close to each other, so you are almost touching and stare into each other’s eyes. 

Don’t worry, you are allowed to blink, this is not a staring contest. However, refrain from talking. At first, you might feel uncomfortable and laugh. However, as time passes you will feel more pleasant and connected. 

15. More cuddle time

Make it a habit to cuddle more often. Turn off the distractions and simply cuddle. When we hug each other oxytocin is released. This chemical, also known as the cuddle hormone, is associated with lower blood pressure and heart rate. A study suggests this could explain why partners with emotional support are less likely to die from heart disease.

Sneak this exercise whenever is suitable for you – in the morning or evening while watching a movie. 

The idea is to set aside time to practice it daily. Show physical tenderness, and improve your intimacy with your partner . This exercise is recommended in sex therapy as it can increase the erotic potential. 

16. The 7 breath-forehead connection exercise

This close breathing exercise can be practiced anytime you need to feel in sync with your partner and focus on the present moment. 

Lie next to each other and face each other. You should put your foreheads together without touching your nose or chins. 

The idea is to synchronize your breath with your partner’s. At first, try to do 7 in a row. If it feels good, and it will extend it to 20 or 30 breaths. Prolong it for as much as it feels good for you and repeat any time you want to feel present and connected to your partner. 

17. Question jar

Question Jar is a great relationship conversation starter.

The idea is fairly simple – take a jar and add any number of relationship-building questions. If you are having trouble coming up with them, there are already made question jars available for purchase.

The Legacy Jar , for example, has 108 awesome questions, which can also be used with your colleagues, friends, and kids. 

If you, however, wish to make questions more personal, you can use any jar, and your partner and yourself can write as many questions as you wish.

Feel free to use the famous 36 questions that were used in an experiment showing that answering these 36 questions can bring people closer together. Several of them even fall in love. 

18. The miracle question

This activity offers a reflective way of helping couples dive deep into an exploration of what kind of future they would like to create.

A lot of people are facing struggles, simply because they are not sure of their own and partnership goals. A “Miracle Question” can guide and help partners clarify their goals and gain clarity on what they are aiming to achieve as partners and individuals. 

Therapist Ryan Howes elaborates the Miracle Question as: 

“Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred. When you awake tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that would tell you life had suddenly gotten better?”

This question allows you to go beyond the spectrum of reality, using the imagination to dig for the things you truly wish to happen. By not being bound with the everyday constraints, you will bring up your desires that you prevent yourself from verbalizing. 

In the setting of couples therapy, even though your partner might give an impossible wish, you can grasp the idea behind it.

The therapist would use an unrealistic idea to help you investigate it would change your life for the better. The change you find there is the change you need. On a partnership level, you can then work on scaling the idea of change and apply it on a practical level. 

19. The weekly CEO meeting

In hectic lives, where we run around every day doing all sorts of errands, this exercise can be a good way to freeze time and reconnect. 

During this exercise, it is important to have an adults-only 1-on-1 conversation. All distractions including kids should not be around. 

Check each others’ calendars and cement a 30 minutes window for a CEO meeting. 

You can kick off the conversation with the following questions: 

  • How do you feel today? 
  • How do you feel in our relationship? 
  • Is there anything from the previous week which you feel is unresolved and needs to be discussed? 
  • Do you feel loved? 
  • What can I do to make you feel more loved? 

Even though direct, these questions are meaningful and will inspire your partner and yourself to have a productive discussion. It is quite important to have these conversations regularly and treat them like an important commitment out of which you will not bailout. 

20. Set goals together

You can create as many categories as you would like, but we suggest you start with these 6 important areas of life: 

  • Hobby/Fun activities
  • Social interactions 
  • Intellectual activities 

After you agree on which categories you want to work on, set goals for each of the areas. Agree on the timeline and put the goals somewhere visible. 

21. Volunteer together

What is a cause you both believe in? Focusing on helping there will bring you two together. When you see your partner helping others you will fall in love with them all over. 

Decide what case you want to dedicate some of your time and volunteer together through a local charity or a church.

22. The high and low

This exercise is best utilized during the evening and allows the cole to check-in with each other. This exercise is used in couples counseling to increase empathy and understanding. 

While one of the partners is sharing their high and low of the day, the other is using attentive listening techniques. 

23. Sending a postcard

In this exercise, the focus is on written communication. B oth partners need to write on separate postcards their frustrations, feelings, or desires. Once written it is to be mailed and not verbally discussed.

Any further response should only be written in the same format and sent. This fosters written communication and patience. 

24. Sticks and stones

Besides the cute nicknames and endearing words, partners sometimes call each other names that can be hurtful. 

This exercise allows partners to address any name-calling that might have aggrieved them in the past. They are to make a list of names they found disrespectful and share it. 

After reading it, both have a chance to elaborate on how those terms impacted their feelings of confidence and self-worth.

25. Helpful hands 

This fun couple activity involves the body and the mind. The partners are to work together to achieve a common goal. The twist is – they each have an arm tied behind their backs.

They need to communicate directions and actions concisely so that, with their free hand, each of them is working to achieve a goal. Their synchronicity is necessary for obtaining the objective. 

The activities can vary, and anything can be used such as buttoning a shirt, zipping a zipper, tying a shoe, or clasping a necklace.

A final word on couples therapy exercises

Every relationship can benefit from couples therapy exercises.

Whether your relationship is picture-perfect or you’re both looking to improve your marriage, couples therapy activities can now be done from the comfort of your own home.

Many couples swear by such couples counseling exercises that have brought them together after facing a difficult time or made their relationship better than before.

If you still require more assistance then look for online marriage counseling to seek some expert marriage counseling exercises to work on your relationship.

Search for couples counseling near me or couples therapy near me to find experts available in your area.

If you are wondering does marriage counseling work, there is no clear answer. It can for the sure benefit a relationship in which both partners strive to make it work. 

Share this article on

Kaida Hollister is a passionate relationship writer, renowned for her ability to shed light on the intricacies of love and human connection. With a deep understanding of psychology and personal growth, she has become known for her Read more insightful and engaging writing on these subjects. When she’s not busy crafting thought-provoking articles, Kaida can often be found pursuing her love of dance. She is also an avid foodie and enjoys exploring new flavors and cuisines. With a curious and open-minded approach to life, Kaida is committed to helping readers deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationships. Read less

Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

Take Course

Learn More On This Topic

8 Tips to Manage Your Kids, Pets, and Home While Working From Home

Communication

Approved by angela welch, marriage & family therapist.

Couple Counseling Exercises to Improve Communication

Approved By Jeannie Sytsma, Marriage & Family Therapist Associate

How Can Couples Build Strong Relationship With Trust Building Exercises?

Relationship

By marriage.com editorial team, relationship & marriage advice.

15 Powerful Communication Exercises for Couples

By Kelli H, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

10 Effective Marriage Communication Exercises for Couples

By Carolyn Landis

You may also like.

Reasons For Divorce: Top 10 Reason Why Marriages Fail

Approved By Jenni Jacobsen, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

A Step-by-Step Guide to Fix and Save a Broken Marriage

Save Your Marriage

Treading Carefully: Getting Back Together After Separation

Approved By Shannon McHugh, Psychologist

How to Have a Trial Separation in the Same House

Recent Articles

What to Do When Your Spouse Has a Different Stress Response

By Kaida Hollister

8 Signs It’s Time to Visit a Marriage and Family Therapist

By Sylvia Smith

Popular topics on marriage help.

  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Therapy Center
  • When To See a Therapist
  • Types of Therapy
  • Best Online Therapy
  • Best Couples Therapy
  • Best Family Therapy
  • Managing Stress
  • Sleep and Dreaming
  • Understanding Emotions
  • Self-Improvement
  • Healthy Relationships
  • Student Resources
  • Personality Types
  • Verywell Mind Insights
  • 2023 Verywell Mind 25
  • Mental Health in the Classroom
  • Editorial Process
  • Meet Our Review Board
  • Crisis Support

How Couples Therapy Can Improve Your Relationship

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

therapy homework for couples

Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.

therapy homework for couples

NoSystem Images/E+/Getty Images

What Is Couples Therapy?

Types of couples therapy, what couples therapy can help with, effectiveness, things to consider, how to get started.

Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy that can help you and your partner improve your relationship. If you are having relationship difficulties, you can seek couples therapy to help rebuild your relationship. It is helpful at any stage of your relationship, regardless of

“Couples therapy can address a wide range of relationship issues, including recurring conflicts , feelings of disconnection, an affair, issues related to sex, or difficulties due to external stressors,” says Brian Mueller , PhD, a psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center who specializes in couples therapy.

If you and your partner are going through a rough patch , couples therapy can help you work on your relationship. Your therapist can help you express your feelings, discuss issues with your partner, and resolve conflicts.

Couples therapy can help increase understanding, respect, affection, and intimacy between you and your partner, which can help you be happier together.

According to Mueller, there are numerous approaches to couples therapy, which can include:

  • Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) : EFT focuses on improving the attachment and bonding between you and your partner. The therapist helps you understand and change patterns that lead to feelings of disconnection.
  • Gottman method: This method involves addressing areas of conflict and equipping you and your partner with problem-solving skills. It aims to improve the quality of friendship and the level of intimacy between you and your partner. 
  • Ellen Wachtel’s approach: This is a strength-based approach that involves focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship. It focuses on self-reflection rather than blame.
  • Psychodynamic couple’s therapy : Psychodynamic therapy explores the underlying hopes and fears that motivate you and your partner, to help you understand each other better.
  • Behavioral therapy : Also known as behavioral couples therapy (BCT), this form of therapy involves shaping behavior by reinforcing positive behaviors that promote stability and satisfaction, while discouraging behaviors that foster negativity.
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) : Also referred to as cognitive behavioral couples therapy (CBCT), this form of therapy involves identifying and changing thought patterns that negatively influence behavior.

Couples therapists often employ an integrated approach to treatment, borrowing techniques from different forms of therapy, depending on your needs.

These are some of the strategies a couples therapist might employ:

  • Getting to know you:  “The therapist creates a sense of safety by getting to know you and your partner. They work actively and collaboratively with you to help you understand yourself and your partner better,” says Mueller.
  • Identifying feelings : “The therapist helps you and your partner identify feelings and put them into words to one another,” says Mueller. 
  • Exploring the past: Couples therapy can involve exploring your past, since that can help you better understand your fears, motivations, and behaviors in a relationship. It can also help address unresolved conflicts that affect your present.
  • Focusing on solutions: Your therapist will work with you and your partner to resolve issues, correct negative behavior patterns, and focus on positive aspects of the relationship. 
  • Teaching skills: Couples therapy can help teach you and your partner anger management , problem solving , and conflict resolution skills . The aim is to equip you and your partner with tools to help you deal with issues as they crop up.

Couples therapy can give you and your partner the opportunity to discuss and resolve issues related to several aspects of your relationship, which can include:

  • Roles in the relationship: Couples therapy can help you examine the roles you and your partner play in the relationship and identify unhealthy dynamics . It can also help address differences in expectations.
  • Beliefs and values: Couples therapy can help you and your partner discuss your beliefs, values, and religious sentiments and the implications of these aspects on your daily lives.
  • Finances: Finances can be a major source of conflict in relationships. Couples therapy can help promote open dialogue and transparency around income and spending habits.
  • Time spent together: You and your partner can address issues that have been sabotaging your time together. You can discuss activities that you enjoy doing together and how to make time spent together more enjoyable.
  • Children: If you and your partner are not on the same page about whether or not you want to have children or how you would like to raise them, couples therapy can help you communicate these concerns. It can also help with stressors like difficulty conceiving or adopting children.
  • Familial relationships: Couples therapy can help you and your partner work out issues stemming from conflicts with other family members , like parents, children, and siblings.
  • Sex and intimacy: If you and your partner are having issues related to sex and intimacy, or infidelity, couples therapy can offer a safe space for you to share your feelings and needs.
  • Health issues: Physical or mental health illnesses can be hard on you and your partner. Couples therapy can help you deal with the stress it puts on your relationship.
  • External stressors: Therapy can also help you and your partner deal with conflicts caused by external factors, like work for instance, that can put stress on your relationship.

Benefits of Couples Therapy 

“People report feeling more connected to their partner and their own feelings, as well as more secure, spontaneous, and playful in the relationship. When people feel more secure in their relationship, they can become more assertive and adventurous in other parts of their life,” says Mueller.

Brain Mueller, PhD

Benefits of couples therapy include reduced relationship distress and increased relationship satisfaction.

These are some of the benefits couples therapy can offer:

  • Understand each other better: Couples therapy can help you understand yourself and your partner better. It can help both of you express your feelings, hopes, fears, priorities, values, and beliefs.
  • Identify relationship issues: Your therapist can help you and your partner identify issues that are leading to recurring conflicts, lack of trust , and feelings of disconnection, says Mueller.
  • Improve communication skills: Therapy can help you and your partner communicate with each other. It can help you express yourself and ask for what you need without attacking or blaming your partner.
  • Resolve conflicts: Your therapist can help you and your partner work through your issues and resolve them.
  • Strengthen friendship and attachment: Couples therapy can help strengthen the friendship, attachment, bonding, and intimacy between you and your partner.
  • Terminate dysfunctional behavior: Your therapist can identify dysfunctional behaviors and help eliminate them.
  • Learn skills: Couples therapy is not a long-term form of therapy. Instead, it is a short-term therapy that aims to equip you and your partner with skills to help you prevent and manage conflicts that arise down the road.
  • Improve relationship satisfaction: Couples therapy can help improve the overall quality of your relationship , so that you and your partner are happier together.

According to a 2014 summary, couples therapy can help with relationship satisfaction , communication, forgiveness, problem solving, and resolution of needs and feelings.

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) particularly has strong research support across a wide range of concerns, according to Mueller. He says numerous studies have shown that couples who receive eight to 12 sessions of EFT report reduced distress and increased relationship satisfaction for both partners, with benefits lasting even two years after treatment.

Couples therapy ideally requires participation from you and your partner. However, if your partner is not open to it, you can also opt to do couples therapy alone, to better understand your relationship and how you can improve it.

If you and your partner undertake it together, you may find that one or both of you also need separate therapy sessions to help deal with the issues brought up in couples therapy.

If you or your partner are also dealing with other issues, like substance abuse for instance, your therapist might suggest specialized therapy for treatment.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the  National Domestic Violence Hotline  at  1-800-799-7233  for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our  National Helpline Database .

If you feel your relationship would benefit from couples therapy , discuss it with your partner and see if they’re open to it. If they’re resistant to it, explain why it’s important to you and how you think it might help your relationship.

The next step is to find a practitioner. Couples therapy is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists; however, other psychologists and psychiatrists may offer it as well. Friends or family might be able to suggest someone you can go to, or if you’re seeing a therapist for other reasons, they may be able to refer you to a specialist.

Check with your partner what days and timings work for them. Try to find a therapist who is conveniently located, if you and your partner prefer in-person sessions. Make sure the therapist takes your insurance plan . 

When you start therapy, you and your partner will probably have to fill out forms detailing your medical history and insurance information. You may also have to fill out questionnaires to help your therapist better understand your relationship, the issues you’re facing, and what you hope to gain from therapy.

Your therapist will work with you and your partner to outline the goals for therapy. While couples therapy typically involves joint sessions, your therapist may also do individual sessions with you or your partner. They may also assign homework.

Get Help Now

We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Canadian Agency for Drugs and Technologies in Health. Couples therapy for adults experiencing relationship distress: a review of the clinical evidence and guidelines . 2014.

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then   View saved stories .

To revisit this article, select My Account, then   View saved stories

  • Conditionally
  • Newsletter Signup

The Biggest Relationship Problems Couples Therapists See Over and Over Again

By Jenna Ryu

Graphic of two people discussing relationship problems for couples therapy

All products are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Disagreements and other tense moments (ahem, biting your partner’s head off ) are normal in healthy relationships. Rough patches, too, are par for the course, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. But what kinds of issues warrant a visit to a couples therapist ?

The truth is, all types of relationships can get something out of therapy, Svea Wentzler, MA , a pre-licensed marriage and family therapist at A Better Life Therapy in Philadelphia, tells SELF. “It’s a safe and private place to explore what is and isn’t working,” Wentzler says. Plus, “it can be hard to hear feedback from your partners or friends, and a third-party expert can point out patterns you may not even be aware of,” she adds.

Besides the whole “saving a dying relationship” cliché, there are plenty of other situations that can lead people to call in a pro. Here, seven couples therapists share a common issue they see in their sessions.

1. The trust is gone.

It’s probably no surprise that losing trust is a biggie. “Infidelity has been the most common issue I’ve worked with,” Alyssa Calderon, LMFT , a couples counselor at North Brooklyn Marriage and Family Therapy in New York City, tells SELF. “Understandably, people panic after learning about a physical or emotional betrayal and act quickly to secure a therapist to get their relationship ‘back on track,’” Calderon says.

There’s no quick fix for rebuilding that sense of security (and it’s not always possible), but joint therapy can allow a couple to delve into the underlying issues that led to the betrayal in a judgment-free, safe environment, Calderon says. This can also help them determine if moving forward together is truly worth it. “Infidelity doesn’t have to end in a breakup ,” she adds. “But it usually creates a distrust or lack of confidence that should be addressed.”

2. A big life change, like getting married or starting a family, is on the horizon.

Again, therapy isn’t just for troubled relationships on the brink of collapse. Another less dire yet completely valid reason to book some sessions: wanting to work through a major life change that’s about to happen, Vanessa Bradden, LMFT , owner of Lakeview Therapy Group in Chicago, tells SELF.

“I see a lot of people becoming first-time parents , for example, who want to navigate [preparing for] young children because they understand how complex and challenging that can be on the relationship,” Bradden says. Other transitions a couples therapist can help with include moving in together, getting married, or becoming empty nesters. Professional guidance can make these important but also intimidating milestones feel a little more manageable, Bradden adds.

3. The arguments aren’t exactly productive.

“It’s normal to fight in relationships,” Wentzler says. However, there are right ( and wrong ) ways to do it—that is, if the goal is to fix the problem while staying respectful. “When it comes to conflict, people really struggle with how to resolve it constructively ,” Wentzler adds. Specifically, she notes that many couples avoid addressing their underlying issues, which can lead to dissatisfaction, distrust, and more screaming matches.

Instead of snapping over “little” things or yelling extreme statements like, “You never listen to me!” (which are likely to make the other person shut down), a couples therapist can teach partners how to fight fairly so each person feels heard. “We’re able to point out the current challenges to communicating effectively, then help guide clients to learn the language and tools they need to engage in these talks without emotionally harming each other,” Wentzler says. That way, problems are more likely to be solved—and feelings are less likely to be hurt.

4. One or both partners feel unappreciated.

In long-term relationships , it can be easy to overlook the little things, like going on spontaneous dates or even just saying “I love you.” But getting into the habit of neglecting these sweet moments can cause emotional distance.

“Feeling like you’re not seen, not heard, by your partner—those are early warning signs that [people in the] relationship are starting to drift apart,” Amanda Craig, PhD, LMFT , author of Who Are You and What Have You Done with My Kid? , tells SELF. This lack of appreciation can inspire people to seek out a therapist, who can suggest ways to reconnect, Dr. Craig says.

One simple strategy she uses, for example, is challenging couples to be more intentional about maintaining eye contact and smiling—while chatting over dinner, say. She also encourages people to ask their partner how their day was (and genuinely listen to the answer), or even just greet them with a hug when they come home from work. “It’s these basic things that so many people take for granted, lose track of, and need a little help getting back into,” Craig says.

5. There’s no excitement.

Another common pattern in long-term relationships is getting a little too comfortable—to the point where the dynamic becomes predictable and maybe boring. In that case, a professional can help by suggesting ways to make things feel a little more exciting again, Shavon Gaddy, LCSW , an AASECT-certified sex therapist in New York City, tells SELF.

Some folks, Gaddy says, might discover that they want to spice up their sex life (by experimenting with toys , say, or safely exploring new kinks ). Other potential ways to add novelty include sharing a new hobby or getting dressed up for monthly date nights, instead of ordering takeout and eating it on the couch. And even if a couple isn’t quite sure what, exactly, they’re missing, talking to a therapist can help them figure it out, Gaddy adds.

6. Disagreements about money are causing tension.

“Financial issues can be a tremendous stressor on a relationship on multiple levels,” Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD , a New York City–based psychologist, tells SELF. Of course, “if a couple can’t afford to meet basic needs [like getting food on the table], it can lead to a lack of safety and more strain,” Dr. Romanoff says. Even in financially stable relationships, differences in salaries and spending (or saving) habits can also cause tension, she adds.

15 Easy Ways to Get a Little More Fiber Every Day

By Audrey Bruno

5 Things to Do to Get the Absolute Most Out of a Doctors Appointment

By Katie Way

This Is What a 37-Year-Old Face Without Filters or Makeup Actually Looks Like

By Rachel Wilkerson Miller

While this might sound like a job for a financial advisor, a couples therapist can help too. For one, they can make potentially awkward conversations about money easier by encouraging more constructive (and kinder) language, Dr. Romanoff explains. They can also help people get to the root of why talking about spending too much (or little) is such a challenge, she says. Maybe money was a hush-hush topic in one partner’s childhood, for instance, or personal insecurities (like feeling ashamed about credit card debt) are getting in the way of honest communication.

“It’s helpful to explore how couples discuss their finances and what barriers they have to talking about money openly,” Dr. Romanoff says. Because to resolve any relationship problem, you first need a solid foundation of trust, as well as some healthy communication skills, she adds.

7. There’s a lack of boundaries with overbearing in-laws (or other family members).

Setting boundaries with family can be really difficult—but sometimes necessary to protect a relationship. Maybe the in-laws who offered to help take care of a couple’s newborn still show up unannounced years later. Or perhaps one partner won’t stand up to their grandma who hurls passive-aggressive jabs about how “disorganized” or “poorly decorated” the house is.

These types of issues commonly inspire couples to seek therapy together, Gayane Aramyan, LMFT , a Los Angeles–based therapist specializing in relationships, tells SELF. In her own practice, Aramyan says she usually focuses on helping folks find a middle ground—like limiting family visits to once a month (or every other week) instead of weekly, or being more supportive when a relative crosses a line. “It’s really about finding that happy medium and discovering ways that your partner can make you feel more comfortable,” Aramyan says.

When to consider couples therapy

It’s not right for every couple, according to many of the experts we spoke with, and therapy only works when both parties are willing to give it a solid effort. But if you’re struggling with a specific concern, like craving deeper intimacy or needing more emotional support during a stressful time, a couples therapist is trained to help. And even if there isn’t a major problem or crisis at the moment, a few sessions here and there can strengthen your connection and prevent serious misunderstandings and conflicts down the road, Bradden adds.

Realistically though, not everyone has the time, money, or resources to see a pro whenever an issue bubbles up. If you’re on the fence, here’s one telltale sign that therapy might be a real game changer for your relationship: repeating the same argument over and over. This, Wentzler says, can indicate that one or both people feel misunderstood, and improving communication skills could make a huge difference.

Another good indicator is if either or both of you have been lying or keeping secrets about something serious (like cheating, say, or debt). “These betrayals can cause serious and lasting harm, and those wounds are not easy to heal without expert support,” Wentzler adds.

Ultimately, the choice is yours, but there’s no need to feel ashamed if you’re considering this route. Fighting for a relationship that’s worth it takes a lot of effort—and sometimes a professional in your corner.

  • 24 Ways to Have Better Sex in 2024
  • 11 Little Mental Health Tips That Therapists Actually Give Their Patients
  • How to Get Back Into Dating After a Long-Term Relationship Crumbles

therapy homework for couples

SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

17 Women Share the Reasons They Stopped Wearing Makeup

  • International edition
  • Australia edition
  • Europe edition

‘It felt different somehow to share that my partner and I needed help in our relationship.’

Is it ever too early for couples therapy?

Couples therapy isn’t just for people on the brink of divorce – it can help us work on our connections with each other and understand our conflicts

B y the time a couple seek out therapist Esther Perel, they are often no longer talking about love. When I saw her speak at a crowded salon on the Upper East Side last month, she said that early in relationships, people fall hard – then reality sets in.

“You slowly begin to realize that person doesn’t necessarily conform to your expectations,” she told rapt listeners. “Expectations are resentments in the making.”

Many couples come to couples therapy “too late”, according to Perel. On the flip side, there can be plenty of judgment about a couple who start doing therapy together “too early”. Shouldn’t you still be in the honeymoon stage?

I don’t hesitate mentioning that I’m in individual therapy. But when I went to couples therapy in 2019, I found myself more reluctant to spread this news around. It felt different somehow to share that my partner and I needed help in our relationship.

Couples therapy occupies strange territory in an increasingly open mental health landscape. Some view it as a stodgy, old-fashioned exercise for people who are about to break up anyway. “People draw that conclusion from correlation: Betty and Joe down the street went to couples therapy, and they needed to get divorced,” said James Cordova, a psychology professor at Clark University who researches interventions for sustaining and maintaining relationship health over time.

Esther Perel speaks onstage at SXSW on 11 March 2023 in Austin, Texas.

Yet people clearly have a strong interest. Perel’s podcast Where Should We Begin has millions of listeners and in 2019, Netflix launched the show Couples Therapy, which is in production for its fourth season. In 2021, Google tweeted that searches for “how to date” had reached an all-time high, a search term that has only grown since then. We want to figure out how to have healthy relationships with each other, yet many people still don’t go to couples therapy, or wait to try it. “Folks will suffer inside a significantly distressed relationship for between four to six years before they even consider starting to seek couples therapy help,” Cordova said.

Cost is one reason that prevents people from seeking out all kinds of mental health interventions. But there are also misconceptions about what couples therapy is, who it’s for, when is the best time to go, and how long to go.

Who is couples therapy for?

Couples therapy is not only for married people or long-term relationships. “I see this as similar to disaster preparedness before a crisis,” said Kale Monk, a family and relationship scientist at The University of Missouri. “We need to be proactive in our relationship work.”

Monk was initially wary of working with couples because of the stereotype “that it’s a last-ditch effort to salvage the relationship”, he said. But when he started to work with couples, he saw how much people wanted to work on their connections with each other, and to understand why they kept running into the same conflicts.

There aren’t many services explicitly for these earlier stages of relationships, said Brian Doss, a professor of psychology at the University of Miami, and co-author on the therapy manual for integrative behavioral couples therapy. Historically, premarital counseling filled this role. But couples therapy today is relevant for people in all kinds of relationships, like polyamory or open relationships, queer couples and people who want to commit but aren’t interested in marriage or children.

As the options for people’s lives and partnerships grow, they might need more skills and more help at feeling connected to their partner, resolving conflicts, having the sex life they want, and determining what they want your relationship to look like. “The less society dictates what our relationships are supposed to be like, the more we have to figure out what we want, and what’s right for us,” Doss said.

When is the right time for couples therapy?

It can be confusing to know when to go, said Mara Hirschfeld, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in New York. “There is an assumption that we shouldn’t go to therapy too soon,” she said – but also that we shouldn’t go when it’s “too late” to save the relationship.

People can use outside help at pivotal moments: before they move in together, deciding about children, marriage or meeting each other’s families.

For many couples, issues can and do arise in the earlier stages of a relationship, even a few months in. “When things start to get real, people start opening up to one another about their vulnerability,” she said. “You start to get into the attachment layer of the relationship where it stops coming from just lust and admiration and we start getting real.”

You can go any time when those kinds of conversations and feelings begin to arise. As a practice, it is less about salvaging moribund marriages at all costs, and more for learning basic communication and relationship skills, working through big life transitions, and recognizing what a large role relationships play in our mental health, relationship scientists told me. This means you don’t have to go forever, and that there’s no such thing as going too early.

after newsletter promotion

What happens in couples therapy?

Couples therapy won’t be the same for every pair, since each partnership will be bringing different issues to their sessions. You can expect to start with a combination of solo and paired sessions that establish your relationship history, who you are as an individual, and who you are together. But there are some common skills at the root of all couples therapy, said Monk, who did his PhD in relationship science, researching how to make relationships work.

He focuses mostly on the importance of prevention work, and “relationship maintenance”, or building up skills to communicate or resolve conflicts before any huge issues arise. Relationship “maintenance” is the “what to do” in the early stages of a relationship to upkeep its health and functioning, like you would bring a car to regularly get its oil changed, Monk said.

Monk has shown that how well or poorly couples communicate is associated with the quality of their relationship later on, and that poor communication is connected to people splitting up. Research on federally funded couples education found that couples who did premarital counseling were more likely to seek help sooner when issues arose.

Although there are different approaches to couples therapy, a review from 2022 wrote that many therapists end up mixing techniques . As with other kinds of therapy, there’s a sweet spot of finding a therapist you connect with and one who is able to help you with the specific problems your relationship is having. People who do online relationship programs benefit from them as well.

What’s the end goal of couples therapy?

A couples therapist shouldn’t have any preconceived idea of what should happen to the relationship, Hirschfeld said. But on-again, off-again relationships aren’t great for your mental health, Monk’s work has shown. Going to a couples therapist can help people figure out how to work through their issues, or decide to split up for good. Some people learn through couples therapy that the relationship isn’t going to work, then have a safe and supportive environment to work through what that means. Hirschfeld was actually the couples therapist that I went to with my ex, and we ended up breaking up.

Couples therapy is useful even if the relationship doesn’t continue. For many people, the issues that come up in one relationship will rear their head in others: with future partners, family members, bosses or friends. “Why not work on those things now?” Monk said.

What should I look for in a couples therapist?

It’s important to find someone who is actually trained in couples therapy, said Amber Vennum, an associate professor of couple and family therapy. It’s different from individual psychotherapy because the process is not just about the two people, but also the dynamic between them. When we consider how well we are doing mentally, we often consider how we’re feeling individually. For couples and family therapists, mental health is relational.

As when looking for an individual therapist, find someone that both you and your partner feel a connection to, and can see yourself trusting to reflect your dynamic back to you. Their role isn’t to serve as emergency resuscitation to your relationship; couples therapy should be thought of like an annual physical check-up or dental cleaning appointment. “The complicated nature of being in an ongoing, close relationship with another human being is ultimately too much for any of us to try to take care of entirely on our own,” Cordova said.

  • Well actually
  • Relationships

Most viewed

  • Bahasa Indonesia
  • Slovenščina
  • Science & Tech
  • Russian Kitchen

Why were so many metro stations in Moscow renamed?

Okhotny Ryad station in Soviet times and today.

Okhotny Ryad station in Soviet times and today.

The Moscow metro system has 275 stations, and 28 of them have been renamed at some point or other—and several times in some cases. Most of these are the oldest stations, which opened in 1935.

The politics of place names

The first station to change its name was Ulitsa Kominterna (Comintern Street). The Comintern was an international communist organization that ceased to exist in 1943, and after the war Moscow authorities decided to call the street named after it something else. In 1946, the station was renamed Kalininskaya. Then for several days in 1990, the station was called Vozdvizhenka, before eventually settling on Aleksandrovsky Sad, which is what it is called today.

The banner on the entraince reads:

The banner on the entraince reads: "Kalininskaya station." Now it's Alexandrovsky Sad.

Until 1957, Kropotkinskaya station was called Dvorets Sovetov ( Palace of Soviets ). There were plans to build a monumental Stalinist high-rise on the site of the nearby Cathedral of Christ the Saviour , which had been demolished. However, the project never got off the ground, and after Stalin's death the station was named after Kropotkinskaya Street, which passes above it.

Dvorets Sovetov station, 1935. Letters on the entrance:

Dvorets Sovetov station, 1935. Letters on the entrance: "Metro after Kaganovich."

Of course, politics was the main reason for changing station names. Initially, the Moscow Metro itself was named after Lazar Kaganovich, Joseph Stalin’s right-hand man. Kaganovich supervised the construction of the first metro line and was in charge of drawing up a master plan for reconstructing Moscow as the "capital of the proletariat."

In 1955, under Nikita Khrushchev's rule and during the denunciation of Stalin's personality cult, the Moscow Metro was named in honor of Vladimir Lenin.

Kropotkinskaya station, our days. Letters on the entrance:

Kropotkinskaya station, our days. Letters on the entrance: "Metropolitan after Lenin."

New Metro stations that have been opened since the collapse of the Soviet Union simply say "Moscow Metro," although the metro's affiliation with Vladimir Lenin has never officially been dropped.

Zyablikovo station. On the entrance, there are no more signs that the metro is named after Lenin.

Zyablikovo station. On the entrance, there are no more signs that the metro is named after Lenin.

Stations that bore the names of Stalin's associates were also renamed under Khrushchev. Additionally, some stations were named after a neighborhood or street and if these underwent name changes, the stations themselves had to be renamed as well.

Until 1961 the Moscow Metro had a Stalinskaya station that was adorned by a five-meter statue of the supreme leader. It is now called Semyonovskaya station.

Left: Stalinskaya station. Right: Now it's Semyonovskaya.

Left: Stalinskaya station. Right: Now it's Semyonovskaya.

The biggest wholesale renaming of stations took place in 1990, when Moscow’s government decided to get rid of Soviet names. Overnight, 11 metro stations named after revolutionaries were given new names. Shcherbakovskaya became Alekseyevskaya, Gorkovskaya became Tverskaya, Ploshchad Nogina became Kitay-Gorod and Kirovskaya turned into Chistye Prudy. This seriously confused passengers, to put it mildly, and some older Muscovites still call Lubyanka station Dzerzhinskaya for old times' sake.

At the same time, certain stations have held onto their Soviet names. Marksistskaya and Kropotkinskaya, for instance, although there were plans to rename them too at one point.

"I still sometimes mix up Teatralnaya and Tverskaya stations,” one Moscow resident recalls .

 “Both have been renamed and both start with a ‘T.’ Vykhino still grates on the ear and, when in 1991 on the last day of my final year at school, we went to Kitay-Gorod to go on the river cruise boats, my classmates couldn’t believe that a station with that name existed."

The city government submitted a station name change for public discussion for the first time in 2015. The station in question was Voykovskaya, whose name derives from the revolutionary figure Pyotr Voykov. In the end, city residents voted against the name change, evidently not out of any affection for Voykov personally, but mainly because that was the name they were used to.

What stations changed their name most frequently?

Some stations have changed names three times. Apart from the above-mentioned Aleksandrovsky Sad (Ulitsa Kominterna->Kalininskaya->Vozdvizhenka->Aleksandrovsky Sad), a similar fate befell Partizanskaya station in the east of Moscow. Opened in 1944, it initially bore the ridiculously long name Izmaylovsky PKiO im. Stalina (Izmaylovsky Park of Culture and Rest Named After Stalin). In 1947, the station was renamed and simplified for convenience to Izmaylovskaya. Then in 1963 it was renamed yet again—this time to Izmaylovsky Park, having "donated" its previous name to the next station on the line. And in 2005 it was rechristened Partizanskaya to mark the 60th anniversary of victory in World War II. 

Partizanskaya metro station, nowadays.

Partizanskaya metro station, nowadays.

Another interesting story involves Alekseyevskaya metro station. This name was originally proposed for the station, which opened in 1958, since a village with this name had been located here. It was then decided to call the station Shcherbakovskaya in honor of Aleksandr Shcherbakov, a politician who had been an associate of Stalin. Nikita Khrushchev had strained relations with Shcherbakov, however, and when he got word of it literally a few days before the station opening the builders had to hastily change all the signs. It ended up with the concise and politically correct name of Mir (Peace).

The name Shcherbakovskaya was restored in 1966 after Khrushchev's fall from power. It then became Alekseyevskaya in 1990.

Alekseyevskaya metro station.

Alekseyevskaya metro station.

But the station that holds the record for the most name changes is Okhotny Ryad, which opened in 1935 on the site of a cluster of market shops. When the metro system was renamed in honor of Lenin in 1955, this station was renamed after Kaganovich by way of compensation. The name lasted just two years though because in 1957 Kaganovich fell out of favor with Khrushchev, and the previous name was returned. But in 1961 it was rechristened yet again, this time in honor of Prospekt Marksa, which had just been built nearby.

Okhotny Ryad station in 1954 and Prospekt Marksa in 1986.

Okhotny Ryad station in 1954 and Prospekt Marksa in 1986.

In 1990, two historical street names—Teatralny Proyezd and Mokhovaya Street—were revived to replace Prospekt Marksa, and the station once again became Okhotny Ryad.

Okhotny Ryad in 2020.

Okhotny Ryad in 2020.

If using any of Russia Beyond's content, partly or in full, always provide an active hyperlink to the original material.

to our newsletter!

Get the week's best stories straight to your inbox

  • 7 things that the USSR unexpectedly put on WHEELS
  • Why did the USSR build subway stations inside residential buildings? (PHOTOS)
  • How Russian trains deal with winter

therapy homework for couples

This website uses cookies. Click here to find out more.

Sending Homework to Clients in Therapy: The Easy Way

Homework in therapy

Successful therapy relies on using assignments outside of sessions to reinforce learning and practice newly acquired skills in real-world settings (Mausbach et al., 2010).

Up to 50% of clients don’t adhere to homework compliance, often leading to failure in CBT and other therapies (Tang & Kreindler, 2017).

In this article, we explore how to use technology to create homework, send it out, and track its completion to ensure compliance.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free . These science-based exercises will explore fundamental aspects of positive psychology including strengths, values, and self-compassion, and will give you the tools to enhance the wellbeing of your clients, students, or employees.

This Article Contains:

Is homework in therapy important, how to send homework to clients easily, homework in quenza: 5 examples of assignments, 5 counseling homework ideas and worksheets, using care pathways & quenza’s pathway builder, a take-home message.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy has “been shown to be as effective as medications in the treatment of a number of psychiatric illnesses” (Tang & Kreindler, 2017, p. 1).

Homework is a vital component of CBT, typically involving completing a structured and focused activity between sessions.

Practicing what was learned in therapy helps clients deal with specific symptoms and learn how to generalize them in real-life settings (Mausbach et al., 2010).

CBT practitioners use homework to help their clients, and it might include symptom logs, self-reflective journals , and specific tools for working on obsessions and compulsions. Such tasks, performed outside therapy sessions, can be divided into three types (Tang & Kreindler, 2017):

  • Psychoeducation Reading materials are incredibly important early on in therapy to educate clients regarding their symptoms, possible causes, and potential treatments.
  • Self-assessment Monitoring their moods and completing thought records can help clients recognize associations between their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
  • Modality specific Therapists may assign homework that is specific and appropriate to the problem the client is presenting. For example, a practitioner may use images of spiders for someone with arachnophobia.

Therapists strategically create homework to lessen patients’ psychopathology and encourage clients to practice skills learned during therapy sessions, but non-adherence (between 20% and 50%) remains one of the most cited reasons for CBT failure (Tang & Kreindler, 2017).

Reasons why clients might fail to complete homework include (Tang & Kreindler, 2017):

Internal factors

  • Lack of motivation to change what is happening when experiencing negative feelings
  • Being unable to identify automatic thoughts
  • Failing to see the importance or relevance of homework
  • Impatience and the wish to see immediate results

External factors

  • Effort required to complete pen-and-paper exercises
  • Inconvenience and amount of time to complete
  • Failing to understand the purpose of the homework, possibly due to lack of or weak instruction
  • Difficulties encountered during completion

Homework compliance is associated with short-term and long-term improvement of many disorders and unhealthy behaviors, including anxiety, depression, pathological behaviors, smoking, and drug dependence (Tang & Kreindler, 2017).

Greater homework adherence increases the likelihood of beneficial therapy outcomes (Mausbach et al., 2010).

With that in mind, therapy must find ways to encourage the completion of tasks set for the client. Technology may provide the answer.

The increased availability of internet-connected devices, improved software, and widespread internet access enable portable, practical tools to enhance homework compliance (Tang & Kreindler, 2017).

How to send homework

Clients who complete their homework assignments progress better than those who don’t (Beck, 2011).

Having an ideal platform for therapy makes it easy to send and track clients’ progress through assignments. It must be “user-friendly, accessible, reliable and secure from the perspective of both coach and client” (Ribbers & Waringa, 2015, p. 103).

In dedicated online therapy and coaching software, homework management is straightforward. The therapist creates the homework then forwards it to the client. They receive a notification and complete the work when it suits them. All this is achieved in one system, asynchronously; neither party needs to be online at the same time.

For example, in Quenza , the therapist can create a worksheet or tailor an existing one from the library as an activity that asks the client to reflect on the progress they have made or work they have completed.

The activity can either be given directly to the client or group, or included in a pathway containing other activities.

Here is an example of the activity parameters that Quenza makes possible.

Quenza Homework

A message can be attached to the activity, using either a template or a personally tailored message for the client. Here’s an example.

Quenza Sending message

Once the activity is published and sent, the client receives a notification about a received assignment via their coaching app (mobile or desktop) or email.

The client can then open the Quenza software and find the new homework under their ‘To Do’ list.

3 positive psychology exercises

Download 3 Free Positive Psychology Exercises (PDF)

Enhance wellbeing with these free, science-based exercises that draw on the latest insights from positive psychology.

Download 3 Free Positive Psychology Tools Pack (PDF)

By filling out your name and email address below.

Quenza provides the ability to create your own assignments as well as a wide selection of existing ones that can be assigned to clients for completion as homework.

The following activities can be tailored to meet specific needs or used as-is. Therapists can share them with the client individually or packaged into dedicated pathways.

Such flexibility allows therapists to meet the specific needs of the client using a series of dedicated and trackable homework.

Examples of Quenza’s ready-to-use science-based activities include the following:

Wheel of Life

The Wheel of Life is a valuable tool for identifying and reflecting on a client’s satisfaction with life.

You can find the worksheet in the Positive Psychology Toolkit© , and it is also included in the Quenza library. The client scores themselves between 1 and 10 on specific life domains (the therapist can tailor the domains), including relationships, career development, and leisure time.

This is an active exercise to engage the client early on in therapy to reflect on their current and potential life. What is it like now? How could it look?

Quenza Wheel of life

The wheel identifies where there are differences between perceived balance and reality .

The deep insights it provides can provide valuable input and prioritization for goal setting.

The Private Garden: A Visualization for Stress Reduction

While stress is a normal part of life, it can become debilitating and interfere with our everyday lives, stopping us from reaching our life goals.

We may notice stress as worry, anxiety, and tension and resort to avoidant or harmful behaviors (e.g., abusing alcohol, smoking, comfort eating) to manage these feelings.

Visualization is simple but a powerful method for reducing physical and mental stress, especially when accompanied by breathing exercises.

The audio included within this assignment helps the listener visualize a place of safety and peace and provides a temporary respite from stressful situations.

20 Guidelines for Developing a Growth Mindset

Research into neuroplasticity has confirmed the ability of the adult brain to continue to change in adulthood and the corresponding capacity for people to develop and transform their mindsets (Dweck, 2017).

The 20 guidelines (included in our Toolkit and part of the Quenza library) and accompanying video explain our ability to change mentally and develop a growth mindset that includes accepting imperfection, leaning into challenges, continuing to learn, and seeing ‘failure’ as an opportunity for growth.

Adopting a growth mindset can help clients understand that our abilities and understanding are not fixed; we can develop them in ways we want with time and effort.

Self-Contract

Committing to change is accepted as an effective way to promote behavioral change – in health and beyond. When a client makes a contract with themselves, they explicitly state their intention to deliver on plans and short- and long-term goals.

Completing and signing such a self-contract (included in our Toolkit and part of the Quenza library) online can help people act on their commitment through recognizing and living by their values.

Not only that, the contract between the client and themselves can be motivational, building momentum and self-efficacy.

Quenza Self contract

The contract can be automatically personalized to include the client’s name but also manually reworded as appropriate.

The client completes the form by restating their name and committing to a defined goal by a particular date, along with their reasons for doing so.

Realizing Long-Lasting Change by Setting Process Goals

We can help clients realize their goals by building supportive habits. Process goals – for example, eating healthily and exercising – require ongoing actions to be performed regularly.

Process goals (unlike end-state goals, such as saving up for a vacation) require long-lasting and continuous change that involves monitoring standards.

This tool (included in our Toolkit and part of the Quenza library) can help clients identify positive actions (rather than things to avoid) that they must carry out repeatedly to realize change.

Quenza realizing long-lasting change

We have many activities that can be used to help clients attending therapy for a wide variety of issues.

In this section, we consider homework ideas that can be used in couples therapy, family therapy, and supporting clients with depression and anxiety.

Couples therapy homework

Conflict is inevitable in most long-term relationships. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies and individual set of needs. The Marital Conflicts worksheet captures a list of situations in which conflicts arise, when they happen, and how clients feel when they are (un)resolved.

Family therapy homework

Families, like individuals, are susceptible to times of stress and disruptions because of life changes such as illness, caring for others, and job and financial insecurity.

Mind the Gap is a family therapy worksheet where a family makes decisions together to align with goals they aspire to. Mind the gap is a short exercise to align with values and improve engagement.

How holistic therapist Jelisa Glanton uses Quenza

Homework ideas for depression and anxiety: 3 Exercises

The following exercises are all valuable for helping clients with the effects of anxiety and depression.

Activity Schedule is a template assisting a client with scheduling and managing normal daily activities, especially important for those battling with depression.

Activity Menu is a related worksheet, allowing someone with depression to select from a range of normal activities and ideas, and add these to a schedule as goals for improvement.

The Pleasurable Activity Journal focus on activities the client used to find enjoyable. Feelings regarding these activities are journaled, to track recovery progress.

Practicing mindfulness is helpful for those experiencing depression (Shapiro, 2020). A regular gratitude practice can develop new neural pathways and create a more grateful, mindful disposition (Shapiro, 2020).

Quenza Activity Builder

Each activity can be tailored to the client’s needs; shared as standalone exercises, worksheets, or questionnaires; or included within a care pathway.

A pathway is an automated and scheduled series of activities that can take the client through several stages of growth, including psychoeducation , assessment, and action to produce a behavioral change in a single journey.

How to build pathways

The creator can add two pathway titles. The second title is not necessary, but if entered, it is seen by the client in place of the first.

Once named, a series of steps can be created and reordered at any time, each containing an activity. Activities can be built from scratch, modified from existing ones in the library, or inserted as-is.

New activities can be created and used solely in this pathway or made available for others. They can contain various features, including long- and short-answer boxes, text boxes, multiple choice boxes, pictures, diagrams, and audio and video files.

Quenza can automatically deliver each step or activity in the pathway to the client following the previous one or after a certain number of days. Such timing is beneficial when the client needs to reflect on something before completing the next step.

Practitioners can also designate steps as required or optional before the client continues to the next one.

Practitioners can also add helpful notes not visible to the client. These comments can contain practical reminders of future changes or references to associated literature that the client does not need to see.

It is also possible to choose who can see client responses: the client and you, the client only, or the client decides.

Tags help categorize the pathway (e.g., by function, intended audience, or suggested timing within therapy) and can be used to filter what is displayed on the therapist’s pathway screen.

Once designed, the pathway can be saved as a draft or published and sent to the client. The client receives the notification of the new assignment either via email or the coaching app on their phone, tablet, or desktop.

Success in therapy is heavily reliant on homework completion. The greater the compliance, the more likely the client is to have a better treatment outcome (Mausbach et al., 2010).

To improve the likelihood that clients engage with and complete the assignments provided, homework must be appropriate to their needs, have a sound rationale, and do the job intended (Beck, 2011).

Technology such as Quenza can make homework readily available on any device, anytime, from any location, and ensure it contains clear and concise psychoeducation and instructions for completion.

The therapist can easily create, copy, and tailor homework and, if necessary, combine multiple activities into single pathways. These are then shared with the click of a button. The client is immediately notified but can complete it at a time appropriate to them.

Quenza can also send automatic reminders about incomplete assignments to the client and highlight their status to the therapist. Not only that, but any resulting questions can be delivered securely to the therapist with no risk of getting lost in a busy email inbox.

Why not try the Quenza application? Try using some of the existing science-based activities or create your own. It offers an impressive array of functionality that will not only help you scale your business, but also ensure proactive, regular communication with your existing clients.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free .

  • Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond . Guilford Press.
  • Dweck, C. S. (2017).  Mindset: The new psychology of success.  Robinson.
  • Mausbach, B. T., Moore, R., Roesch, S., Cardenas, V., & Patterson, T. L. (2010). The relationship between homework compliance and therapy outcomes: An updated meta-analysis. Cognitive Therapy and Research , 34 (5), 429–438.
  • Ribbers, A., & Waringa, A. (2015). E-coaching: Theory and practice for a new online approach to coaching . Routledge.
  • Shapiro, S. L. (2020).  Rewire your mind: Discover the science and practice of mindfulness. Aster.
  • Tang, W., & Kreindler, D. (2017). Supporting homework compliance in cognitive behavioural therapy: Essential features of mobile apps. JMIR Mental Health , 4 (2).

' src=

Share this article:

Article feedback

Let us know your thoughts cancel reply.

Your email address will not be published.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Related articles

Variations of the empty chair

The Empty Chair Technique: How It Can Help Your Clients

Resolving ‘unfinished business’ is often an essential part of counseling. If left unresolved, it can contribute to depression, anxiety, and mental ill-health while damaging existing [...]

therapy homework for couples

29 Best Group Therapy Activities for Supporting Adults

As humans, we are social creatures with personal histories based on the various groups that make up our lives. Childhood begins with a family of [...]

Free Therapy Resources

47 Free Therapy Resources to Help Kick-Start Your New Practice

Setting up a private practice in psychotherapy brings several challenges, including a considerable investment of time and money. You can reduce risks early on by [...]

Read other articles by their category

  • Body & Brain (46)
  • Coaching & Application (56)
  • Compassion (26)
  • Counseling (51)
  • Emotional Intelligence (24)
  • Gratitude (18)
  • Grief & Bereavement (21)
  • Happiness & SWB (40)
  • Meaning & Values (26)
  • Meditation (20)
  • Mindfulness (45)
  • Motivation & Goals (45)
  • Optimism & Mindset (33)
  • Positive CBT (26)
  • Positive Communication (20)
  • Positive Education (46)
  • Positive Emotions (31)
  • Positive Leadership (15)
  • Positive Psychology (33)
  • Positive Workplace (34)
  • Productivity (16)
  • Relationships (45)
  • Resilience & Coping (34)
  • Self Awareness (20)
  • Self Esteem (37)
  • Strengths & Virtues (30)
  • Stress & Burnout Prevention (34)
  • Theory & Books (46)
  • Therapy Exercises (37)
  • Types of Therapy (64)
  • Vacation Rentals
  • Restaurants
  • Things to do
  • Elektrostal Tourism
  • Elektrostal Hotels
  • Elektrostal Bed and Breakfast
  • Elektrostal Vacation Rentals
  • Flights to Elektrostal
  • Elektrostal Restaurants
  • Things to Do in Elektrostal
  • Elektrostal Travel Forum
  • Elektrostal Photos
  • Elektrostal Map
  • All Elektrostal Hotels
  • Elektrostal Hotel Deals
  • Elektrostal Hostels
  • Elektrostal Business Hotels
  • Elektrostal Family Hotels
  • Elektrostal Spa Resorts
  • 3-stars Hotels in Elektrostal
  • Elektrostal Hotels with Game room
  • Elektrostal Hotels with Banquet hall
  • Hotels near Electrostal History and Art Museum
  • Hotels near Park of Culture and Leisure
  • Hotels near Statue of Lenin
  • Hotels near Museum and Exhibition Center
  • Hotels near Museum of Labor Glory
  • Hotels near (ZIA) Zhukovsky International Airport
  • Hotels near (VKO) Vnukovo Airport
  • Hotels near (DME) Domodedovo Airport
  • Secrets Moxche Playa del Carmen
  • Mohonk Mountain House
  • The LINQ Hotel + Experience
  • ARIA Resort & Casino
  • Secrets Royal Beach Punta Cana
  • The Westin Reserva Conchal, an All-Inclusive Golf Resort & Spa
  • Resorts Hedonism (Hedonism II Resort)
  • Hyatt Ziva Cap Cana
  • Hotel Xcaret Mexico
  • Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge
  • Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort
  • Luxor Hotel & Casino
  • Barcelo Bavaro Palace All Inclusive Resort
  • Excellence Oyster Bay
  • Hotel Riu Republica
  • Popular All-Inclusive Resorts
  • Popular Beach Resorts
  • Popular Family Resorts
  • Popular All-Inclusive Hotels
  • Popular Hotels With Waterparks
  • Popular Honeymoon Resorts
  • Popular Luxury Resorts
  • Popular All-Inclusive Family Resorts
  • Popular Golf Resorts
  • Popular Spa Resorts
  • Popular Cheap Resorts
  • All Elektrostal Restaurants
  • Cafés in Elektrostal
  • Chinese Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • European Restaurants for Families in Elektrostal
  • European Restaurants for Large Groups in Elektrostal
  • European Restaurants for Lunch in Elektrostal
  • Fast Food Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • French Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • Italian Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • Japanese Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • Pizza in Elektrostal
  • Russian Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • Seafood Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • Vegetarian Restaurants in Elektrostal
  • GreenLeaders
  • Elektrostal
  • Things to Do
  • Travel Stories
  • Rental Cars
  • Add a Place
  • Travel Forum
  • Travelers' Choice
  • Help Center
  • Europe    
  • Russia    
  • Central Russia    
  • Moscow Oblast    
  • Elektrostal    
  • Elektrostal Restaurants    

Ratings and reviews

Location and contact.

therapy homework for couples

PEKIN, Elektrostal - Lenina Ave. 40/8 - Restaurant Reviews, Photos & Phone Number - Tripadvisor

IMAGES

  1. Free Printable Couples Therapy Worksheets

    therapy homework for couples

  2. What’s Different About Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Homework? in

    therapy homework for couples

  3. Printable Couples Communication Worksheets

    therapy homework for couples

  4. Family Rules and Values

    therapy homework for couples

  5. Free Printable Couples Therapy Worksheets

    therapy homework for couples

  6. Free Printable Couples Therapy Worksheets

    therapy homework for couples

COMMENTS

  1. 21 Couples Therapy Worksheets, Questions & Activities (PDF)

    50 21 Couples Therapy Worksheets, Questions & Activities (PDF) 24 Nov 2017 by Courtney E. Ackerman, MA. Scientifically reviewed by Tiffany Sauber Millacci, Ph.D. What if I told you there was a magic recipe for making a relationship work? I'm sure you wouldn't believe me, and for good reason! It's easy to see how difficult relationships can be.

  2. Relationships Worksheets

    The Attachment Styles & Romantic Relationships worksheet is an accessible overview of attachment and the four main attachment styles: secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and anxious-avoidant attachment... Creating Secure Attachment worksheet Attachment styles are ways of thinking about and behaving in relationships.

  3. 31 Fun Couples Therapy Exercises for Bonding and Communication

    Updated: Dec 12, 2023 From couples journaling to therapy games to conversation starters, this list will keep couples busy with each other for months to come. Couples therapy exercises, both in counseling sessions and at home, can be a great way to connect. You can work on communication skills, have fun together, and learn more about each other.

  4. 25 Couples Therapy Worksheets, Questions & Activities

    1. Psychodynamic couples therapy One common couple therapy technique is psychodynamic couples therapy. This therapeutic approach assumes that relationship problems arise from unaddressed childhood problems and subconscious thoughts and motivations.

  5. 5 Couples Therapy Worksheets & Exercises (+ PDF)

    by Julia Poernbacher Psychology & Counseling Tools 5 Couples Therapy Worksheets & Exercises (+ PDF) Couples therapy is an effective way to strengthen the bond between partners, improve communication, and work through issues that may be causing relationship distress.

  6. Marriage Counseling Toolkit: 30 Couples Therapy Worksheets

    19 Apr 2023 Marriage Counseling Toolkit: 30 Couples Therapy Worksheets 15 Oct 2020 by Jeremy Sutton, Ph.D. Scientifically reviewed by Gabriella Lancia, Ph.D. While research confirms that marriage leads to increased life satisfaction, it is not without its challenges (Boyce, Wood, & Ferguson, 2016).

  7. 21 Best Couples Counseling Exercises, Techniques, & Worksheets

    Since couples therapy has evolved into a widely practiced form of psychotherapy, we take our magnifying glass to it and share insights into how it works, common techniques, exercises, and even training opportunities if you'd like to learn more.

  8. Couples therapy: Homework exercises for communication and bonding

    A common part of couples therapy for many is partaking in exercises outside of sessions, which are often known as "homework" exercises. Below, we've compiled some easy and helpful homework exercises that might aid you in your journey to strengthen your relationship, including gratitude lists, relationship check-ins, journaling, and more.

  9. 5 Thoughtful Homework Assignments for Couples in Therapy

    One fun homework assignment for couples in therapy is to create a book of memories that span over your time together. This means going back through photographs, letters, notes, etc. Anything meaningful!

  10. Couples Therapy Worksheets

    Couples therapy worksheets are free to therapists working with couples on how to improve their relationships and include worksheets on marital satisfaction, emotional intimacy, partner appreciation, reducing negative cycles and identifying the Four Horsemen in relationships.

  11. Couples Worksheets

    Latest Couples Worksheets For Therapists Couples Gratitude Journal Worksheet GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC Participating in couples counseling is challenging, but can also be very beneficial when utilized properly. Couples often struggle with relationship challenges that can affect the way they relate to each other and show appreciation for each other.

  12. 26 Must-Try Couples Therapy Exercises And Activities

    Some of them can be used during therapy sessions while others work great as homework in couples therapy. 26 Couples Therapy Exercises and Activities 1.) The Icebreaker Icebreakers can be a great opportunity to te an interesting conversation going and to learn something new about each other.

  13. 17 Communicaton Exercises for Couples Therapy

    Couples therapy exercises for communication allow partners to learn how to talk and listen to one another. This is just one of the many benefits of couples therapy. This positive communication process involves exchanging, in a productive manner, thoughts, ideas, information, and knowledge.

  14. 25 Couples Therapy Exercises You Can Do at Home

    Thankfully there are many couples therapy exercises you can do at home to strengthen your relationship and build trust and communication. These couples therapy techniques can help you communicate on a deeper level, teach you to fight fair, and create goals for your future together.

  15. 25 Best Couples Therapy Techniques to Try

    Couples therapy techniques 1. Reflective listening

  16. Couples Therapy: Definition, Techniques, and Efficacy

    Couples therapy can help you deal with the stress it puts on your relationship. External stressors: ... They may also assign homework. Get Help Now. We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

  17. 45+ Powerful Therapy Exercises For Clients, Couples & Groups

    Therapy exercises are powerful tools for therapists and counselors working with individuals, couples, and groups. Such interventions, performed as homework between sessions, are linked to successful treatment outcomes (Mausbach et al., 2010).

  18. The Biggest Relationship Problems Couples Therapists See Over ...

    These types of issues commonly inspire couples to seek therapy together, Gayane Aramyan, LMFT, a Los Angeles-based therapist specializing in relationships, tells SELF. In her own practice ...

  19. Is it ever too early for couples therapy?

    Historically, premarital counseling filled this role. But couples therapy today is relevant for people in all kinds of relationships, like polyamory or open relationships, queer couples and people ...

  20. Things to Do in Elektrostal

    Good for Couples. Budget-friendly. Good for Big Groups. Honeymoon spot. Good for Adrenaline Seekers. Hidden Gems. Adventurous. Show more. 12 places sorted by traveler favorites. Things to do ranked using Tripadvisor data including reviews, ratings, photos, and popularity. 1. Electrostal History and Art Museum. 19.

  21. Why were so many metro stations in Moscow renamed?

    Right: Now it's Semyonovskaya. Granovsky N.S.; Nikolai Galkin/TASS. The biggest wholesale renaming of stations took place in 1990, when Moscow's government decided to get rid of Soviet names ...

  22. Electrostal History and Art Museum

    Oct 2016 • Couples. Провинциальный музей с совковым акцентом. Такое впечатление, что коллекция создавалась только силами жителей города. Один плюс - в помещении историко-художественного музея ...

  23. Sending Homework to Clients in Therapy: The Easy Way

    Therapists strategically create homework to lessen patients' psychopathology and encourage clients to practice skills learned during therapy sessions, but non-adherence (between 20% and 50%) remains one of the most cited reasons for CBT failure (Tang & Kreindler, 2017).

  24. PEKIN, Elektrostal

    Lenina Ave., 40/8, Elektrostal 144005 Russia +7 495 120-35-45 Website + Add hours Improve this listing.

  25. Communication Worksheets

    Back-to-Back Drawing Activity. worksheet. The back-to-back drawing communication exercise will get your groups and couples working together, talking, and thinking about how they communicate. Groups are split into pairs of "listeners" and "speakers". The speaker will describe an image for the listener to draw, but the listener cannot speak.